Crosby chuckled.“You know, when I was under cover, Garcia said you and Gid and Natalia kept trying to feed him.”
Joey grunted.“Yeah.He’s a skinny fucker.Doesn’t eat much.”
“Sayin’.Remember when the whole goddamned team put their lives on the line to rescue Toby, because he was my roommate, and he meant somethin’ to me?”
Joey nodded and relaxed even further into Crosby.His packmate.His brother.
“I remember.Gideon and his pointy brain.The rest of us just, you know.Assassinated.”
Crosby gave an evil laugh.“Yeah, that was good.”
“You practically moved into Pearson’s apartment when she broke her leg,” Joey remembered.“I…,” he sighed out.“I never had this before.”
“Yeah.Me neither.”
“Thanks,” Joey said, his voice shaking.“I’ll try not to wake you up tonight.”
Crosby grunted.“Chadwick told Harding I should crawl into bed with you.Figured I’d warn you now, in case you slept with a knife under your pillow.”
Joey laughed a little.He had been.“Sound choice,” he said.“I’ll put the knife under the mattress.Harder to get to.”
“’Preciate it.”
Crosby stood and held out his hand.“Didja eat?”he asked.
“Oh my God—Gideon’s stepmom has brisket—like half a fuckin’ cow.She wrapped it all up and put it in a container and it’s in my duffel, probably leaking all over my clothes.But it’s good.We got some potatoes.Wanna gain five pounds?”
Crosby chuffed as he helped Joey up.“Who wouldn’t?”
That night Joey thought about people in his bed.He’d had plenty of sex before Gideon, but Gideon was the only person he’d eversleptwith.But as Crosby snored softly on the far side of Gideon’s bed, it hit him that sleeping with somebody—only sleeping—was a sign of trust.
He trusted these people.They trusted him.
And he knew that Gideon had been right about having a pack.Having friends, brothers, sisters, family.
He knew why Gideon had wanted so badly for Joey to meet his parents.Knew why it made him so happy that Joey remembered to bring Trish flowers every weekend he came, and always knew the scores of the Knicks game so he could talk sports with Gideon’s father.
And he knew why he’d close his eyes and actually get some sleep this night, and the night after that, until he didn’t need a body in the bed next to him, and he could sleep just knowing that Gideon was out there and loved him.
He pulled out his phone and texted,In a thousand years, Gideon, you’ll never know how much you’ve given me.I just wanted you to know that.You’re right.We can go out the door any day and not come back.But before I do that, I needed you to know I see you.I can’t love anybody else like I love you.
But I can love our family like our family, and that is a big fucking gift.
There was a long pause then, and Joey started falling asleep, thinking he’d missed Gideon’s window.Suddenly his phone flashed.
I didn’t give that to you, Joey.You earned it every day.I’ll be home soon, kid.I love you.
Love you too.Night.
And then he slept like he hadn’t slept when he was a child.
“YOU UPfor this?”Joey asked for the fifty-dozenth time.
“You?”Gideon asked gently.
Joey looked away.“I’m just so glad you’re home,” he said.
A month later, Gideon finally got to return to the SCTF on limited desk duty.He was still walking with a cane to help support his body, and his arm was still in a cast—it hadn’t just been broken, it had been shattered.
