“Of course she did. You behaved like an asshole. You deserved that.”
“I know I did, and so I left. I’ve honored her wishes.”
“That makes you an idiot,” Carla tells me.
“I don’t compute. You tell me I behaved like an asshole and that I don’t deserve Robyn, and then you tell me I’m an idiot for doing as she asks and staying away. I feel like we’re talking in circles. I don’t deserve her, Carla. She’s right to have pushed me away.”
“You really are a self-deprecating idiot.” Carla raises her voice. “You took the abuse, and you let her kick you out, and you’ve done nothing about it since.”
“What was I supposed to do?” I throw my hands up. “What should I do? I told you, I’m honoring her wishes.”
“You should get yourself a gold star,” Carla mutters under her breath, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “You needto fight for her, you idiot. You are in love with her, so you need to fight. Get off your lazy ass and start fighting.”
I stand up. “I don’t know.” I start pacing.
“Do you love her?” Carla asks.
I spin around. “Yes, and I would fight for her, but I don’t think she feels the same. I wrecked everything.”
“It’s true.” Carla nods. “Youdidwreck everything, but you are wrong about how she feels about you. She loves you, Ridge.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Firstly, because I know love when I see it, and then secondly, because she doesn’t want to talk about you. The only thing she’ll admit is that she’s addicted to your dick.”
I grin. I can’t help it. “She said that?”
Carla gives me a dirty look. “Get your head out of your ass. This isn’t about your dick. It never was.”
“That’s true.” I nod a few times, and the grin falls off my face.
“She won’t talk about you because she still has feelings for you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t care. She’d talk about you like you were some guy she met at a bar one time and never thought of again. She doesn’t do that. She avoids the subject. She gets prickly if I bring you up. She’s working herself into the ground. She misses you.”
“Do you think so? Genuinely?”
“Yes. I’m one hundred percent certain.” Carla nods. “I see her every day, Ridge. I’ve watched her go from being a happy person who loved her job to a workaholic who eats lunch at her desk and doesn’t sleep enough. She’s absolutely miserable.”
“Is she really? This is great! I’m so happy.” I realize what I just said. “I mean, it’s great about her missing me and loving me, not the part about her being miserable.”
I sit back down on the sofa. “What do I have to do to get her back?” I ask. “How do I win her over?”
Carla looks around the room. “Firstly, you clean this place. It’s disgusting.”
“It isn’t always like this.”
“Whatever.” She makes a dismissive gesture. “Then you get yourself cleaned up because you’re ewww. When was the last time you showered?”
I shrug.
“You look like shit. A beard isnotyour thing.”
“I haven’t been feeling like myself.”
“No shit. Which brings me to my next point. You need to quit whining like a little bitch, and start fighting.”
“What would you suggest?”
She gives me a scathing look that makes me want to put the pillow back over my head. Carla is a little scary.
