Which leaves me here. At the lab. On a Saturday. With the entire damn weekend stretching ahead of me. And nothing to do.
I never have nothing to do. I can always find work. There are simulations to run. Samples to analyze. Work to review. Papers to write.
But today, for the life of me, I can’t focus enough to settle on anything.
I don’t want to go home. Last night, I stayed up until three finishing the puzzle Tavey sent me and I’ve already done my workout today.
Which is why I’m still at the lab, staring at my open computer, when fucking Clive Thorndyke shows up just after lunch.
I’ve been sitting at the computer for over an hour, stewing on the events of the previous night so long the monitor had gone black. I see his reflection on the screen when he enters the room.
I push back my chair and stand, hating the way my hip spasms even more than it normally does.
On the bright side, it is the only thing keeping me from crossing the lab and decking the fucker.
Clive isn’t exactly my favorite person.
Sure, his early research was intriguing, but he moved into administration early in his career. To me, it’s a sign he was never passionate about his work. Besides, he’s too slick and too polished for me to take him seriously as a scientist.
Until yesterday, those all seemed like valid reasons for me to dislike the guy. But none of those explain the pure rage that fills me when I see him today.
I’ve been doing Tae Kwon Do since I was thirteen and my physical therapist recommended it to strengthen my leg muscles and provide additional support for my hip.
I’ve been sparring for exercise almost as long. I’d like to think I could handle myself in a fight. But I have never wanted to actually punch someone until now.
Now? Now, I want to beat Clive to a fucking pulp.
Because I can’t help but think that if he hadn’t shown up last night, things might have gone very differently. For the past sixteen hours, I’ve been playing out what-if simulations in my mind.
Why had he shown up on her doorstep after eleven on a Friday night?
Was that normal?
Why hadn’t Holly wanted him to know we’d slept together?
Was it just because he was my boss?
Or was it because they used to be married?
And—this one was the kicker—if he had shown up before I had, would she have slept with him instead?
Last night she’d implied there was something between us. Was there? She had all but said that she’d wanted me even before I conveniently showed up at her house when she happened to need a release. That she had felt an attraction to me from the moment we met.
Could that possibly be true?
Or was that just something she’d told me to make me feel better about what had happened?
Was I just a convenient placeholder for who she really wanted?
Was she still in love with Clive?
Was that why she was upset that he’d seen us together?
And if she was, why did that idea bother me so much?
Jesus. Was Tavey right?
Do I have feelings for Holly?
