Raff's hand comes up slowly, his palm cupping my cheek, his thumb brushing right below my eye. He looks at me for a long moment, his gray eyes quiet and searching. "Are you okay?" he asks softly.
"I'm fine," I say again, more to myself than anyone.
Then I pull in a slow breath, straighten my shoulders, and push every uncomfortable emotion back where it came from.
I pick up my coffee mug from the workbench and look at Perrin. "Okay," I say brightly. "Show me what you're doing with that transmission."
In The Car
Cliff
Adam has been bitinghis nails since we left the Montclare pharmacy.
His elbow is propped against the passenger window with his knuckles pressed to his mouth. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead, but his mind is somewhere else entirely.
I noticed how quiet he was about ten minutes into the drive, but I haven’t said anything. I honestly don’t know what to say.
The truth is I'm scared too. I fucking hate that I can't fix this. That I can’t take all his pain away, and carry it for him.
I feel completely and utterly useless.
"Talk to me," I say, unable to take the silence for a second longer. “What are you thinking?” I turn the wheel, and the shop comes into view at the end of the road.
Adam drops his hand from his mouth like he's been caught doing something embarrassing. "I'm fine,” he says way too quickly.
"You've bitten off half your thumbnail.” I glance at his hand. “You’re about to hit bone.”
He looks at his thumb, then out the window. "I didn’t realize I was out of refills," he says, his voice already rising with panic.
But I stay calm, keeping my voice steady and even. "I know, baby.” I place my hand on his knee, rubbing slow circles.
I understand his fear.
Without his meds, Adam will be forced to suffer fever, dizziness, and joint pain so severe he’ll barely be able to walk.
And I hate how fucking useless I am to stop it.
"I get not having Verenthicin on hand, but the pharmacist had never even heard of it." He shakes his head slightly as he tries to talk himself out of a full-blown panic attack. "It makes sense, I guess. I mean, it's not exactly a common prescription but still." He sucks in a long breath through his nose. "I can’t believe Dr. Ellison is out of the office for a fulltwo weeks."
"It’s going to be okay, Adam."
"Two freaking weeks." He looks at me with those big brown eyes. "That's not a long time under normal circumstances, but I'm already out and I've only missed one pill.” He pauses, then tilts his head, thinking. “Maybe two.” He shakes his head. “It doesn't matter. I just don’t want to think how bad things will get if I go that long without my meds.”
I pull into the lot next to the shop and kill the engine.
Through the bay doors, I see Raff leaning against the Camaro, and Perrin is chatting with Elowen, who's perched on the workbench with her legs dangling over one side. The office light is on in the far corner, which means Odette ishere too.
Good.
I unbuckle then turn to face Adam.
He's already back to chewing on his nails, his brow furrowed. I’m sure he’s running through worst-case scenarios in his head.
"Hey." I reach over and take his hand, pulling it from his mouth. "Look at me."
He does.
"You've missed doses before," I say.
