My stacks of names, dates, connections, every scrap of information I've collected on what happened to my parents, are all sitting in a desk drawer in my apartment. Unprotected.
If anyone from the Morder comes looking for me, that's the first place they'll go.
By the time I can get away, it’ll all be gone. All of it. In a single afternoon.
And now, I’ll probably never know what happened to my parents.
I'll never find out who killed them.
The thought settles into my chest like a stone sinking to the bottom of a lake. Heavy, cold, and permanent.
Exhausted, I close my eyes against Cliff's chest and let the pain take me.
Odette’s House
Adam
Odette's drivewayis a long stretch of cracked concrete lined with overgrown boxwoods, and I've never been so happy to see it in my life.
I pull the stolen minivan in behind Raff's mother's car and kill the engine, but my hands stay on the wheel.
I can't seem to let go of it.
My fingers are locked around the worn leather in a grip that's been white-knuckled since the logging road.
A door slides open in the back, but I stay where I am, looking up at the house in front of me. It’s small and tidy with a covered porch and wind chimes that clink in the night air. Warm light spills from the kitchen window.
I definitely need one of Odette’s crushing bear hugs right now.
Behind me, Cliff is murmuring something to the woman in his lap.Elowen. Her name is Elowen. It's burned into my brain whether I want it there or not.
She's quiet now. No longer frantically clawing, snarling,grinding-against-everything within arm’s reach like she had been earlier. She’s silent. It’s like something inside her finally gave up.
Perrin's hand finds my knee. He squeezes once, then hops out of the van. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. My brother has always been able to read me without words, and right now I'm sure my face is saying plenty.
Get out of the damn van,I tell myself, but my body isn’t ready to move yet. Because if I do move, then it might knock something loose inside me, and I might accidentally feel something…and I've beenverycareful not to feelanythingfor the last two hours.
Instead, I’ve packed every piece of chaos into neat little boxes, then stack those boxes in a corner of my brain where I don't have to look at them yet.
Box one: Cliff actually fucked someone who isn't pack.
Box two: Cliff mated her.I saw the bite.Fresh and deep and unmistakable on the left side of her neck.
Box three: Cliff knotted her.
Box four: I helped pull his knot out of her body with my own hands.
Box five: I don't know how I feel about any of it.
That's a lie. I know exactly what I feel, but I’m scared I’ll cry if I admit it.
“Alright.” Perrin opens my door, making me flinch. “Let’s go. Odette probably has leftovers, and I'm pretty sure we've earned carbs.”
I force myself to smile, then let go of the steering wheel. My fingers ache as they uncurl. “I’m coming.”
I slide out of the seat, and my feet find the concrete. I stand there for a second, breathing in the night air aroundme. It’s warm and thick with the smell of cut grass and Odette's jasmine bushes. It’s all wonderfully familiar.
Behind me, I hear the sliding door close. Cliff's low voice and Raff’s boots. But I don’t hear Elowen.
