I think about the moment I bit her.
My teeth sinking into her neck. The taste of her blood and the heat of her skin. The way she arched beneath me when my knot locked inside her.
Every inch of my body sang in that moment.
The memory is sharp and vivid and it lasts less than a second before another image replaces it.
Adam.
I see his slight body kneeling on the ground in that tent, his hand wrapped around my cock, his honey-brown eyes wet and wide, and looking at me like he suddenly didn't recognize me.
“You okay?” Raff asks, cutting into my thoughts.
"Yeah." I clear my throat roughly. "I was thinking about Adam." I brush my fingertips over my raw knuckles. "He had to help me get my knot out of her," I admit, staringoff into the middle of nothing. "He couldn't look at me the entire time."
Raff shifts, dropping his arms. "He'll be okay," he says softly. "He'll understand."
My shoulders sag, and I press my fingers against the wound cut across my bicep. Pain flares, and I focus hard on it, letting it ground me.
"I hope so," I say with a heavy sigh. "Because I feel awful, Raff. My pull to her..." I shake my head. “It's intense. Stronger than anything I've ever felt. And it makes me feel like shit.” I grit my teeth. “I should be thinking about Adam and Perrin right now. I should be focused on them, on making sure they know how much I love and adore them." My hand drops from the wound, and I stare at the floor. "But I can't get her out of my head."
Raff is quiet for a moment, the sound of the shower filling the silence. When he finally speaks, his voice is filled with deep understanding.
"You are an amazing pack alpha, Cliff." He looks right at me, making sure I feel his sincerity. “You stayed and fought so we could get away.Youprotected us. While it was all I could do not to fuck her right there in the van.” He looks so ashamed.
“What happened?” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
Raff rubs the back of his neck, before whispering, “She was on my lap in the van, grinding against me, all that fresh slick soaking into my clothes.” He closes his eyes for a second, shaking his head like the memory itself is painful. “And there were bullets hitting the roof, and Adam was swerving off the road, and I could hear Perrin hyperventilating in the front seat." He pauses and his jaw clenches. “And all I could think about was ripping her clothes off and burying myself ten inches deep.”
He lets that sit for a second.
"So no, Cliff.” His eyes flash as he looks back up at me. “I'm not going to stand here and judge you for wanting to be near her right now, cuz I feel the same fucking way.”
I exhale, long and slow, letting it empty out of my lungs until there's nothing left. It’s weird, but knowing that Raff feels it too, that this weird pull isn’t me being weak, makes me feel a little bit better.
"Thank you," I say quietly.
Raff dips his chin, his way of saying no problem.
But the relief only goes so far.
Because tomorrow morning, the sun is going to come up, and I’m going to have a mountain of shit to deal with…and I don’t mean dealing with my pack.
Anton knows Raffand this girl.
I’m sure he’ll show up at our shop or our house eventually. Angelica too. She’ll want to know why we caused a major scene. But that's tomorrow's problem. Tonight, I have a more immediate one.
Adam.
"I’m worried about Adam." I rub my jaw with my good hand. “We’re going to have to work extra hard so he doesn’t feel neglected or pushed aside.”
Raff nods, agreeing.
“Perrin might have a few things to say,” I continue, “but I get the feeling he’ll be okay with adding her to our pack.”
Raff’s brows pull together. "What makes you think that?"
I look at him, then whisper, “Because I walked in on Elowen sucking Perrin’s cock.”
