8
SILAS
I don’t really enjoyeye contact, but I don’t want to fail in front of Oakley. I shift on my feet for a few seconds, delaying the inevitable. I glance at his heavy, muscular frame and relax a little.
Finally, I meet his eyes.
They’re so kind.
“Thank you.”
Oakley pauses, and I die in that small eternity.
He smiles.
“You’re a goddamn miracle, Sy. And don’t ever let anyone, including my dads, make you feel otherwise.”
I swallow thickly. I wasn’t expecting him to be so…approving.
But of course he’s like that. He’s Oakley. When I feel like I’m gonna lose control of my temper, it’s him I think of.
“Do you think I can give you the test today?” he asks gently. “It’s okay to say no.”
I check in with myself, like Hedy tells me to. It doesn’t feel like an immediate no.
“Yes. I’ll take the test.”
He quietly hands me a sheet of paper and a pencil and turns around, facing away from me. Like he understands that I’ll feel more comfortable this way.
God, I love you so much.
I focus on the paper in front of me and get started. I feel like I’m taking forever to fill in my details, but I want to make sure I’ve got it right. The only sound is the scratch of pencil on paper.
Ugh. I hate it.
I put the pencil down. Rub the back of my neck.
“Can I use a pen instead? Like an old-school gel pen, if you have it?”
He turns to the side, his smile visible in profile. “Would you like to start over?”
I look at my half-written name.
“Yes, please.”
Oakley reaches into his desk and retrieves another sheet of paper, along with a box of gel pens.
He holds it up. “Any particular color?”
“Blue, please.”
He fishes it out, a surprisingly delicate move with his large hands. He pushes the pen and the fresh test across the desk, along with a yellow notepad.
“In case you want a softer surface.”
“Thank you,” I say, arranging everything in front of me.
After setting the test on the notepad, I fill in my name.
