He straightens a little, his expression shifting,the easy warmth from a minute ago cooling into something tighter. His frown smooths out, but I see the clench in his jaw, the way it sets.
“You’ll be there in a bit anyway,” he says. “You don’t have to rush out.”
I shake my head, reaching for my keys, the metal clinking too loud in the quiet kitchen. “It’s not just that. She’s been seen multiple times. No answers.” I hesitate, words catching at the back of my throat. “It’s too much like?—”
He lifts a hand. “Just go,” he says.
The words are flat, but not dismissive. Controlled.
I hover there for a second, my bag slipping against my shoulder as I adjust the strap. “I can come back after my shift. We can?—”
He turns away before I finish, grabbing the sponge by the sink and squeezing it under the running water tighter than necessary.
“I was planning on getting that media center built for Tessa,” he says, not looking at me. “I’ll just do it when I’m done cleaning. It’s going to be a pain to build.”
“I could help you with it?”
He shakes his head. “You’re already exhausted. And you have an even longer shift now.”
“We can talk it out.”
“Robyn, there’s nothing to talk about. We support each other.” He turns around and cups my cheek.
I lick my lips. “Are you excited to have your bestie back in town?”
He grins. “It’ll be good to have another close friend around.” He flips his wrist, checking the time. “You better go.” His hand trails to my shoulder, giving it a squeeze that doesn’t feel right. “I’ll miss you tonight.”
I touch his arm. “Nate, these last few months have been brutal, if you feel?—”
He smiles softly. “There’s really no need, sweetheart. This training’s good for you, so it’s good for us.” He pecks my lips. “No doubt in my mind.”
“So, should I come to your place after my shift?” I hesitate, unsure in a way I never feel around him.
“Sure, just not to clean.” He winks. “Now you really gotta run.”
I nod. Maybehedoesn’t doubt it, but in closing the door of his apartment behind me… doubt creeps up that maybe this training opportunity comes with a cost I didn’t anticipate.
CHAPTER 3
The Kiss
Nate
I’mat Robyn’s one-bedroom apartment in Old Town. It’s an open plan, with her kitchen to the left of the entry door and living room to the right. She’s catching up on sleep after last night’s shift before heading into another, and I’m meeting friends at a bar I don’t really want to go to, so I’m fixing a simple rice dish for dinner since it’s all I have time for.
She’s on the second tail of the diagnostics program, and if I thought our schedules barely aligned before, they actually never do now. When she’s working, I’m asleep; when she’s home, I’m already out the door. And sometimes, even when we both have the time, she’ll get a call about a case… It’s temporary and important. I know it’s personal to her, and every patient with an innocuous symptom they can’t explain but keeps getting worse reminds her of her mom. I know it takes her back to the doctors telling her father and her thirteen-year-old self that they missed a latent infarct, and how she never figured out how to pull her own dad out of the depression that followed.
So her work matters. Andshematters.
Still, I watch the way she moves when she gets home—how she drops her bag, how long it takes her to sink into the couch—and I feel useless. She needs a night off, and I need a night with her. I don’twantto complain.
Andrzej’s articulate advice was to let her save lives and find myself a fucking hobby. Still, helplessness takes over when her eyes look darker every day and her clothes hang more loosely. I can’t stand that she’s running herself ragged to give this profession her best.And barely anything to me.The intrusive thoughts have been catching up to me, and I hate it every time. I don’t know what else to do, so I cook, clean, and bring coffee while crossing my fingers it’s enough for her.
The bright spot is that Tessa’s finally back in town. Her move got delayed after her job pushed the start date, but she arrived in Chicago a week ago. All of us—friends from undergrad—are celebrating her return at our usual bar tonight. I’ve been letting myself in her apartment to fix little things here and there, but tonight, we’re all finally hanging out.
The oven timer cuts through my thoughts. Before I can take the mitts off the hot tray, Robyn wraps her arms around my middle, lacing her fingers together above my waistband. I relish in the warmth of her cheek pressing into my back just below my shoulder blades.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”
