“Nate, I didn’t?—”
“I know.” I lift my head. “You loved me. You chose me. And I couldn’t understand how that was better.”
“That’s not what I was going to say,” she whispers, lifting her gaze to mine, unblinking. “I—I messed up too.”
“You’re not to blame for what I did.”
“No,” she agrees. “But I saw that you were pulling away, and I didn’t do anything to show you that I saw you. That I loved everything you did for me. That in, my own way, Ineededyou.”
Now it’s my breath that hitches.
She nods, a tear gathering at the corner of her eye but not falling. “That’s right. Your shock is another sign of how wrong I got it.” She taps her thigh. “I thought if I worked hard enough, I’d be so good I’d save peopleandkeep us together.” She lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “It wasn’t the kind of attention we—” She signals between us. “—needed.”
“So…” I lick my lips and speak past the dryness around my throat. “We should have talked to each other.”
“Looking back at it all, such a stupid reason,” she murmurs, “to throw it all away.”
“Robyn, I let these feelings fester until I made decisions out of fear.” I stand, restless. Robyn stares at me with… not quite compassion but recognition. My gaze catches on one of the blueprints taped to the wall, unable to hold hers.Taliesin. “You didn’t do this.” I swallow hard. “I wasn’t solid enough for you.”
“You thought I’d walk away if I knew you were struggling?”
I look at my feet. “I wasn’t doing a lot of thinking. I was locked in going through the motions and avoiding the cracks.”I face the wall, thumb worrying the curling edge of the poster. “Do you know what’s funny?” I let out a short, humorless laugh. “Or sad as fuck.”
“I’m not sure I want to know.”
“I think you need to.” I don’t turn yet. “That night—we were having dinner. Right before everything collapsed.” My voice drops. “You told me we needed to move that trip we’d planned.”
She hums.
“I had a proposal planned.” The words come out ragged, as if they made their way through broken glass. “I was going to ask you to marry me.”
Silence stretches, taut and unbearable, but the soundtrack to this moment is my heartbeat thundering in my temples.
“And that was the night she kissed me, and I didn’t pull back.”
“Oh, Nate …”
I turn. Tears track down Robyn’s cheeks. She isn’t sobbing, just shedding the weight of what we lost. She finally understands everything I threw away.
“I should’ve told you. If I had—if I’d been honest—I think we would’ve weathered it. Together.”
“Were you with her after we broke up?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“And other people?”
“Nobody. Not since you.”
“I’ve been with others.”
“I know.” My mouth tightens. “Believe me, I’m aware.”
She studies me. “What are you hoping from all of this, Nate?”
I shrug, the motion heavy. “I wanted to thank you. For being there for Mom.” I curve my lips in a small smile. “She loved it. She loves you.”
“And nothing else?”
