“With Nate?”
“Of course with Nate,” I snap, swiping at my cheek. “Who else would it be?”
“I don’t know,” he says deadpan. “You could’ve fucked up your makeup. I had to consider the options.”
I huff out a breath, shaky. “Do you think I made a mistake?”
“Honestly?”
I nod even though he can’t see me, gripping the fridge handle, then sliding down until my back is against the cool door. The hum against my ribs is soothing and rattling at the same time. On his end, there’s a brief babble, Milo stirring, and Julian murmurs nonsense sounds until he quiets.
“Yes, I think you made a mistake,” he says finally.
My stomach drops.
“Look,” he continues, careful now. “What I think doesn’t matter as much as what I know. You never got over him. You moved. You dated. You had that deeply confusing friends-with-benefits thing with the guy who was spectacularlybad in bed.”
“Are we still talking about me?” I mutter.
“I’m being serious. You were looking for a way forward without Nate.”
“I don’t want him to leave a job he loves for me.”
“Don’t bullshit me. Sure, distance takes logistics. But you’re not protecting his job, you’re being a coward. You shut him down because you’re scared.”
“Of course I’m scared,” I say, heat rushing in. “It’s the freaking farmlands, Kells. Everything’s about pragmatism and budgets—what’s Nate ‘next-Frank-Lloyd-Wright’ going to do with that?”
“That’s fairandreal. He isn’t that man anymore, though.”
“I know he isn’t.” I raise my voice, cutting him off. “If I thought I loved him then… He’s worked so hard to be so much more than he was…” I wrap my arm around my waist. “And I’m still making decisionsforhim instead of with him.” I flatten my back against the fridge, phone pressed to my ear. “I want to make decisions with him. I do. I’m just—what if he doesn’t choose me?”
“He needs a chance to choose you,” Julian whispers. “Moving or not moving, long distance or ending things. You took those choices away from him. He’s also afraid, Robyn.”
“I made him feel like a second choice again,” I mutter through my hoarse throat.
He exhales. “And you of all people know how hard it is to come back from that.”
My chest caves in. “I fucked up. I should’ve asked him to come with me. It’s what I want. I’m an idiot.”
“And so is he. Doesn’t mean your relationship’s doomed, it just means you’re human.”
I swallow. “Do you think it’s too late?”
“He waited seven months before getting anywhere near your state,” Julian says. “Seventy-two hours is nothing… But don’t make him wait much longer, Dr. Sunshine. Bad for his health.”
My pulse starts to race, sharp and insistent. “I can’t fly back yet.”
“Then call him,” Julian says. “And Robyn?”
“Yeah?”
“Two things: one, if you call him you need to be sure. You gotta be all in or all out. You can’t half ass your way if you’re inviting him back in.”
“I know, I’m all in. It was just?—”
“I don’t need details. Just… He’s my friend now too, you know?”
“I do,” I say, nodding. “What’s the second one?”
