I nod. I’ve been rehearsing what I’d say to Robyn since the minute I walked out. A hundred versions of the same apology. But none of them sound right, because none of them undo what she saw.
“God, I miss her,” I mutter. “The way she busts my balls about needing to be Mr. Clean. The smell of her shampoo on my pillow. Even her clothes on the floor. I’d fucking leave them on the floor if it meant she was coming back.”
Andrzej exhales through his nose, muttering something that sounds like cholera something under his breath before patting my shoulder. “You’re a sad bastard, Nate.”
The bartender drops two more glasses. The vodka doesn’t go down smooth anymore—it sloshes, hot and mean. Andrzej handles his fine, but I’m past starting to feel it. The floor humsunder my shoes.
The door swings open, and a gust of cold air whirls in with the rain. I barely glance up until Andrzej swears under his breath.
“Kurwa mac,” he curses under his breath.
I follow his gaze.
Tessa stands in the doorway, scanning the bar until she spots me. Her face lights up a bit too brightly for my comfort.
He turns to me, eyes narrowing. “You invited her?”
“What? No.” I blink, trying to focus. The vodka’s rushed to my head and now the lines around his features are fuzzy. “Of course not.”
He doesn’t buy it. Tessa’s already halfway across the bar, her heels sticking slightly on the warped boards. Her sharp citrus perfume doesn’t mix well with my drunkenness.
“Hey,” she says, her tone casual, too casual. “Figured someone’d be here tonight.”
Andrzej leans in, smirking. “Are you stalking me now, Tess?”
She bristles, tossing hair over her shoulder. “You wish.”
He cackles. “No, I really don’t. I was just telling Nate here. He was trying to set me up with you. Hard pass on my end.”
Tessa’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’d do that, Nate? Set me up with someone else?”
I rub my temples, the burn of vodka crawling through my chest. “Why wouldn’t I? It’d help you—uh, I mean, helpmeget Robyn back.” I sway slightly on my stool, glass trembling in my hand.
“Ugh, Nate.” Tessa shakes her head, tilting it, a scolding look in her dark-green gaze. “She tossed out a two-year relationship over a joke. She’s the bad guy. Not you.”
I snort, almost spilling my drink. “Bad guy? Robyn’s no bad guy.” I wave vaguely toward the ceiling, lost for a moment. “She’s?—”
Andrzej leans back, cutting me off. “Tessa, you’re going to leave if you’re going to trash talk my friend.”
“Stop…” I try to think of coherent words. Some feel out of reach inside my head. “I can’t deal with the bickering—can we just leave it?”
Tessa gets herself two shots, and soon, I hear my laughter even though I don’t feel like laughing. We clink our glasses together before I knock back another shot, the burn spreading through me, and Tessa snorts at some nonsense I’ve said. Andrzej leans against the bar, arms crossed, cataloging every gesture and stumble.
Tessa raises her third shot to me being single. I groan and whisper, “I don’t want to be single, I want to be with Robyn.”
She swings her arm over my shoulder and tells me that’s future Nate’s problem. The warmth of the vodka and the laughter make me lightheaded, and Tessa moves a little closer, her hand brushing my neck.
From the corner of my eye, a blurry Andrzej shifts toward me. I don’t need him though. Everything’s distant and muffled by invisible water, but I know I don’t want her hands on me. I shove her away, just enough so she doesn’t touch me.
“Stay the fuck away from me, Tessa.” My voice is louder than I expect, sharp and unsteady.
She freezes. Her hand lingers in the air a moment, then drops. Her mouth opens, but Andrzej cuts in, his voice landing like a whip.
“That’s it, Nate. We’re leaving.”
“What?” I blink at him, trying to focus. The vodka fog thickens, my vision swimming.
“That’s quite enough for tonight. Now.” He mutters another Polish curse under his breath,punctuating the decision.
