He lets out a mocking sigh. “That’s new.”
“Just hear me out, will you?” I shift on the stool so I can look at him. “I talked to her boss. I’m pretty sure it’ll cost her the job. I need those videos taken down.”
Julian pinches the bridge of his nose, snorting. “Let me ask you something.” He takes a long sip. “When Tessa posted that video of Robyn and Daniel”—he keeps going, oblivious when I flinch at the guy’s name—“do you believe she crossed a line? That she was trying to jeopardize Robyn’s career?”
I nod. There’s no doubt in my mind that was her intention but—I exhale. “I think I led her on, man.”
Julian turns toward me.
“I’ve been thinking, she made a move when we were teenagers. I brushed it off as a kid thing. Then again when we were finishing undergrad. She asked me to move with her. Start fresh wherever she ended up.” I stare into the beer. “She told me how much easier life would be if I came. And for a second… yeah, something tugged.” I tighten my fingers around the glass, more of a twitch than something conscious. “But it was easy to say no. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t want her.” I take a sip. “And she dated other people. So I thought she’d moved on, and I chalked it up to life-stage jitters.”
Julian cuts in. “But the third time she made a move… you responded.”
I wince.
“So why, dude? If you’re supposedly head over heels for Robyn?”
I stare at the warped reflection of the bar lights in my beer. “It’s stupid.”
Julian doesn’t tease me about it. “My dad left my mom when I was nine,” I add. He doesn’t interrupt, he just waits, as exhausted as he looks. I’m starting to see why Robyn and him are so close. “And… my mom’s like Robyn, you know? Ambitious, determined. And her hours have always been insane.” He nods. “But her demands just kept taking over more space and time and… I felt myself dwindling in Robyn’s life.” I swipe a hand under my eyes. Julian stares at his drink. “And a bunch of shit my father said took root. Including how it’s so much easier when someone’s just… When you’re someone’s whole world.” I huff out a humorless breath. “So when Tessa showed up acting like I was the best thing ever every time I helped her, I stopped feeling sidelined.”
Julian grimaces. “That’s so fucked up.”
“Don’t I know it.”
It falls quiet between us before he asks, “So what are you going to do now?”
I swallow. “I want to chase after Robyn.”
“Robyn needs something other than a stalker, man.” He rotates his glass, fingers trailing over the condensation. “And she’s… I kinda get where you’re coming from. This profession… Sometimes, I feel small in my own life, big in the OR. Replaceable everywhere else. What good’s someone like that?”
His sagged shoulders and droopy eyes have me concerned. “Are you good?”
He shrugs. “On top of the fucking world. If I wasn’t, she’d be here with bells on. So until I’m not… I’m going to figure this shit out on my own. Give her space. So areyou.”
I narrow my eyes, determined to ignore his advice but also aware of this tenuous truce between us. “Well,” I mutter, bumping my shoulder into his, “if you ever need someone to drink cheap beer with…”
He glances at me. “You trying to be my friend?”
“You have an opening.”
He snorts. “Nah. You’re not pretty enough to look at.”
I bark out a short laugh and shove his shoulder. He shoves back, and my stool wobbles.
Julian’s phone beeps once. Then again.
“Are you on call?”
He shakes his head. “Oh, fuck. Look at this.” He tilts his phone my way.
It’s Tessa’s profile again, the photo’s still of her back, showing only her blonde hair. This time, she’s posted a still picture of Robyn and me from the one time a year I post on social media. She’s in scrubs, badge clipped to her pocket, holding a glass of wine she barely touched because she was worried she’d fall asleep on the train. I’m in a wrinkled button-down. I recognize it from our rushed Valentine’s Day lunch—after her shift and before she crashed at home. With her turned halfway to me, smiling, we both look every bit as in love as I felt, no matter how much I fucked up.
Then I see the caption. Because why would Tessa be reposting some photo of Robyn and me? As I’m learning, with Tessa, captions always make it worse.Look at this doctor drinking in the middle of the day. How do we know she wasn’t on call? #UnprofessionalMuch #baddoctors.
Somehow, I’d missed who thisfriendof mine really was. Ithought she was just intense and misunderstood. I’m not stupid. I build homes and offices out of nothing. I can look at angles and make informed guesses where the foundation’s gone wrong. And somehow, with this person, the reality of who she’s been was hovering just out of reach, mocking me all this time. Because I’d been too blind by my own emotional wound.
My relationship with Robyn didn’t collapse. It was demolished. I tighten my jaw and grind my teeth. “Well, that does it.” I make eye contact for the check. “She’s going fucking down.”
