She recalls the morning he apologized to her for being adick, as he’d described himself, which feels like ages ago. But listening to him admit he was wrong did feel pleasant.
K8 takes a deep, steadying breath.You can do this.“I suppose I’m sorry for lying to you. That must make you feel undervalued. But I’m fully confident that I will sell enough—”
“You, sweetheart, are clueless. Words likesupposedon’t fit well with apologies. Neither do caveats.”
K8 huffs. How dare he correct her? First off, she wasn’t finished. She had a point she still needed to make. Secondly—an awful thought strikes her. Is this because of the intimate nature of their relationship? Does he think she’s so eager for him that he can control her apology? She can’t hide her shock. “Is this because I let you explore my body sexually?” She jerks out of his grip, but his hand already snapped open like it was wrapped around a hot pipe.
“If you for one moment think you can correct me and demand things, because you, what? Gave me an orgasm. I’m not so lonely and desperate as to—”
“Please quit talking,” James says. His large hand covers his eyes, and he’s massaging his temples. “I don’t have time for this right now, K8.I have exactly no time to solve a rather monumental problem. I can’t get a fucking win, and now you’re accusing me of what, exactly?”
She stands there stunned, mouth hanging open, as each of his words ricochet in her mind. Her hand trembles as she brings it to her mouth, like she might dip in a bucket and draw a response from it. But the well is dry, and the bucket comes up empty.
“I can’t do this with you right now.” Without another word, he turns, collects his things, and walks out the door.
K8 grabs her device from her desk and stumbles into her bedroom, where she collapses onto the bed. Denial, he accused. Is she really in denial of her behavior? Is that why she has an urge to research what makes a proper apology? The desire to prove him wrong and absolve herself of guilt? She swallows the building lump in her throat. That doesn’t stop her from picking up her device and thinking the command for her system to explain what defines a proper apology to her as if she were a child.
By the end of the explanation, tears are streaking down her cheeks. He was right again. A sob bursts from deep in her chest. Is she even capable of having a relationship? James seems to know what to do, but he’s from the past, where relationships were a given. Or is their entire conflict because he’s from the past? Would someone from her time accuse her of lying and then denying it? She is going to go mad if she gets lost in this thought spiral again. “I don’t want a manupartner!” she screams at the softly glowing ceiling. “I want James.”But he doesn’t want me.
He couldn’t have been any clearer when he said,I can’t do this with you . . .
She lays there for the rest of the evening, contemplating how she messed up her one chance at companionship so thoroughly. At least now she can say she had a boyfriend, even if it was short-lived. She laughs bitterly as she makes her way into the bathroom.
What will he do when he gets an identity and therefore is free from her? He’ll probably find another reincarnate who meets his very strict relationship standards and settle down with her. All the while, K8 will be in her unit with three months’ worth of memories, her slightly more in tune FRIENDS, and a closet full of beautiful things.
Her tearstained reflection stares back at her as she cleans her teeth.What is wrong with you?she asks it. Her reflection doesn’t answer.
36 – That’s Just Kate
James
December 23, 2390, Day 4.
Days have passed since their argument, and James is still at a loss. He left Kate’s apartment more than a little disheartened. Considering how logical she is about so many other things, he didn’t expect their conversation to go so poorly.
The only thing he could think to do was read the entire Respectful and Considerate Conduct Course manual, all four hundred and fifty-nine pages, in an effort to understand her better—time he realistically didn’t have. He knows he should wait to rehash the conversation until after he solves the problem of her lease, but he’s been watching her. If he doesn’t take action soon, he’s afraid things will get worse between them.
And what did she accuse him of? Taking liberties, which made no sense. She was clearly trying to shift the blame away from herself. Earlier during lunch, he asked Jett for insight, but he wasn’t helpful, saying little more than, “That’s just Kate.”
He’s missing something. Tonight, he will talk to her about it after his meeting with Oro1 and the reincarnate they’re poised to sell a PalmPrint to.
Oro1 picks up his glass, shaking it so the ice clinks pleasantly. “So is Kate still planning on helping you?”
James told him about their fight. Not all the details. Just that they had one and they weren’t entirely on speaking terms. “I think so. Assuming she is, if we can make this sale, plus what she’s making from selling her things, I should have enough for another month. And if not, there’s always Plan B.”
But he’s due for a win. Especially considering the failed meeting with the reincarnate he met earlier at Bird Tea. She seemed to be ready to purchase up until the point the PalmPrint’s cost came up. Then it became “I’ll think about it.”
“Do you think the reincarnate is going to show?” Oro1 asks.
If he does, it will be a second meeting. “Unless he’s wasting our time, I think he will. Then it will be up to us to convince him.”
He can understand the reincarnates’ reluctance to meet with them. It is their life they are dealing with. It takes a certain leap of faith to meet a complete stranger and admit such a damning bit of information.
But he and Oro1 have their own brand of certitude. They are fully confident that their future clients will eventually concede that the benefit outweighs the risks, and the other benefits of their company are even more far-reaching. Once he’s earned some significant capital, he plans to find other ways to branch out. Multiple income streams will be vital. Especially considering how easily Viper got their accounts frozen.
The man they are meeting with today is one of the few they met early on who got spooked. Yesterday they got a message from him.You haven’t turned us in.
Oro1 replied,No, we haven’t.
