“No, he’s just—”
“Yes, you do!This is GREAT! He likes you too, right?”
“No! I don’t know,” I say hurriedly, wishing I hadn’t brought it up and wondering if someone’s switched the heating on in here because I’m burning up. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t like him. He doesn’t know who I really am.”
Cara’s face falls. “Bummer. I forgot that bit. What about after the wedding? You could ask him out and explain everything? His sister wouldn’t mind then because the wedding would be over.”
“Yeah, OK, because people love it when you lie to them.” I shake my head. “And remember his sister hates me. I doubt she’s going to cheer on my love life, let alone enable it. God.” I stare up at the ceiling. “I can’twaitfor this wedding to be over so I never have to see her again. Ever.”
“Wow.” Cara tilts her head at me. “She’s really got to you. Come on, tell me what she’s done that’s made you make that face.”
“What face?”
“The pained face you do when you’re trying not to spoil things but you’re really unhappy.”
“People need to stop commenting on my face,” I grumble, and sigh. “OK, fine. She’s got to me a little. She’s said a couple of things thatmayhave struck a nerve.”
“Go on.”
“She said… she said that I loved being a professional bridesmaid because it meant I was always hiding in someone’s shadow, never in the spotlight.” I take a gulp of wine. “Just like Daniel said.”
“Whoa.” Cara holds up her hands. “Why are we now talking about Daniel?”
“Because he said the same thing at the quiz night.”
“I don’t remember him saying—”
“Cara,” I interrupt, “do you think I’m afraid?”
“Afraid of what?”
“I don’t know.” I throw my hands up. “Life. Love. Everything.” I pause, as Cara searches my expression. “You know, I actually quite enjoyed standing in the middle of a London lake and shouting, ‘Kaw,’ to the swans. It was crazy and irrational and idiotic. And cold. Very, very cold.” I bite my lip thoughtfully. “It wasn’t like me. It was… out there.”
“Sophie,” Cara says, leaning forward and resting her arms on the table, “are you trying to say you’regratefulto this lunatic bride for making you do something stupid?”
I stare at her. “I’m not sure.”
Cara opens her mouth to reply, then stops suddenly, spotting someone over my shoulder. She looks at once shocked and irritated.
“Cara, what’s—”
“Don’t turn around, OK?” she says urgently, leaning forward and looking me dead in the eye. “Act normal.”
“O-kaaaay.”
“Daniel’s just walked in.”
“What?TheDaniel?”
“Yeah. It’s like he insists on being in our lives, the wanker.” She glances at him again, keeping her voice low. “He’s with his girlfriend.”
“Fiancée,” I correct instinctively. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck.” I wish I weren’t panicking. I wish I were as cool as a cucumber. But I amfreaking out.I’ve never met her. She’s never come along to the group events.
“OK, this is OK,” I whisper, talking to Cara but really to myself. “They probably won’t see us and then I won’t have to talk to hi—”
