Maddox
Ihave my own place, a cozy apartment in Queens, but I’m still a bit of a nomad. I love the chaos of family life with Nathan and Mel, or Drake and Amelia, getting in some quality uncle time with the kids. I really enjoy visiting Elijah and his wife Amber, and I get a kick from seeing Mason and King at their home, witnessing their domestic bliss and relishing how my brother, the eternal playboy, has finally been tamed.
And these days, I especially love being with my Dad. That wasn’t always the case. My mom was ill for a big chunk of my childhood, and Dalton James was understandably not on his A-game after she died. He’s a big man, physically and emotionally strong—a man who built an empire, a family, a whole world.
But when it came down to it, all of that meant nothing. Because the one thing he couldn’t control was the thing that meant the most to him. My mom, Verona. When she got sick, he couldn’t fix her, and that almost broke him. That he’s still here today, still thriving, is testament to his strength of character.
Back then, though, I felt like he’d abandoned me. I’d lost my mom and felt like he wasn’t there for me, and I resented him for that. Later, when I was with Yasmin, the one person at the time who really saw me, he couldn’t stand her. That made the wholething even more exciting, and I was as addicted to that drama as I was to her. I craved any attention I could squeeze from my dad, even negative, and I got plenty of it.
I was an asshole, but I have to forgive myself. If all the work I’ve done at my meetings has taught me anything, it’s not to let negative emotions fester. If you do that, they infect everything. I know this truth because I’ve lived it.
As for everything else that happened, I went from being a high school kid who loved football to being a criminal. An addict. A person I’d prefer to forget but can’t. He’s part of me. I wouldn’t be who I am today without my mistakes. I’m ashamed of some of them, but I don’t regret others. Even if my conscience sometimes tries to tell me that I should.
Still, it does sadden me to think of all the time I missed with this man. With Dalton James, head of our family. Businessman, father, sometimes enemy. Always at the center of my life, even when I was trying to lose myself in drugs, booze, and sex. Even when I was thousands of miles away.
Now, we have a good relationship. Not perfect, but good. Right now, he’s sitting by my side in a little Turkish barber shop in Manhattan. It’s been here forever. You can tell from the grooves on the floor from the chairs, the ancient ‘open/closed’ sign on the door. The ingrained smells of hair products and shaving cream.
“This is not your normal fancy kind of joint, Dad,” I say as soon as the hot towel gets removed from my face.
“I know. I’ve been changing it up a little, son. Keeping things fresh. What do you think?”
We both look in the mirror in front of us. Dalton has always been clean-shaven, smart, old-school. He’s in his seventies now, but still a good-looking man with a full head of hair and alert gray eyes. Me? I’ve always been on the more casual end of things. I didn’t go into law like Nathan and Drake, or join the familybusiness like Mason and Elijah. I never needed the designer clothes or the fancy colognes.
That’s why I like this place. It’s full of character and history, and they actually listened when I said I didn’t want to lose too much of my beard. My hair’s trimmed, the beard shaped and tidy, and my skin feels fresh. What’s not to like?
“It’s good Dad. Nice to do something different together.”
He nods, satisfied, and pays before we leave. He adds a generous tip, as ever. Not a pushover, but always aware of his privilege, always generous to those who deserve it.
We’re due to meet Mason and Elijah for lunch and decided to make a morning of it.
“So, son, how are you?” he asks, as we head to the Jamestech offices. He has a driver, everyone else in the family does, but he prefers to walk. Says it keeps him in good shape. I walk a lot too, or cycle. This city is congested enough without everybody having a car when they don’t really need one. I noticed the last time I was in the office that there were posters up for a drive-share scheme, and a subsidy available for staff who use public transit. Plus new recycling containers and a living wall in the staff café. Small touches, but ones I appreciate.
I wonder who’s behind them all? My brothers run a tech company, they’re not eco warriors. But it’s nice to see that someone there is thinking about the planet.
Maybe it’s Ellie?It could be her. I remember how passionate she was about the environment, and how animated she became when she talked about eradicating the use of plastic straws.
“Son?” my dad repeats, touching my arm.Shit.I lost focus there for a minute. Which seems to happen a lot when that woman’s name pops into my mind.
“Sorry Pop. Just, uh, thinking.”
“Apparently so. What’s her name?”
He smirks at me, and I shake my head to ward him off. It’s not like that, I tell myself. Ellie and I had one evening together. We didn’t even kiss. She’s back in my life, but only on the edges. I’ve barely seen her.
Except that’s not totally true, I admit to myself. I’ve seen her a lot more than I probably needed to. I’ve found excuses to call into the office, turning up with food and gifts for my brothers. Always arranging to meet them there, hoping for a glimpse of her. It’s stupid and it’s pointless and it’s borderline creepy. I am not that man. I refuse to be.
But I can’t help wanting just one more glimpse of her.
“Dad. Not everything is about sex.”
He rolls his eyes so well he could be a teenager. “Maddox, I know you’re celibate. Part of me even understands it. But when I ask what her name is, I don’t have to be talking about sex. I could be talking about love. That look on your face is one I’m very familiar with.”
Love, me? The man who can’t even manage to sleep with someone? “Not at this stage in my life, Dad, no. I’m busy. I’ve got other stuff going on.”
He raises an eyebrow, interest clear on his otherwise measured face. “Well, regarding the love part, you can never say never. And as for the rest, if you need my help you know where I am. I might be an old man but I know a thing or two. Now, where are we meeting your brothers again?”
We arranged to join them at a steak place nearby, which not only does spectacular Wagyu, but also offers a healthy salad menu for those of us who like our greens. Or like my dad, who has a heart condition and isn’t stupid enough to ignore what he puts in his mouth.
