My eyes lifted at the realization. “That day at the Orchard Festival?”
My sister nodded. “She was running her mouth, and Mercer did what he always does. Turned the other cheek. That hypocrite preacher must have instilled more than Mercer ever realized.”
My heart ached at the memory. Mark had told me there was nothing romantic between him and Joan when I’d accidentally spied their tender moment in the tent. Now I was grateful for the comfort she’d offered him in the face of needless cruelty.
I tugged the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “Yeah, but that’s just Mark. And I did the exact opposite.”
I’d attacked Hannah. Not that she was innocent, but the only thing she’d done to provoke my ire was breathe in my vicinity.
But I’d had months of knowing the truth. I’d kept my feelings to myself. Mark didn’t want to discuss his decisions, and he didn’t want to hear my opinion on Hannah and her childish manipulation. It became harder and harder to watch him hide himself away, and me along with him, as a result.
“I shouldn’t have inserted myself into his business,” I added. “A confrontation is the last thing Mark ever wanted.”
But something bitter and vindictive had claimed me that day. When I’d seen Hannah standing there, looking so inconvenienced by Mark’s very existence, I’d wanted payback. And then her father had swooped in with his self-righteous crap. I’d just snapped.
I’d imagined that scene a dozen times in my head. A phantom battle that played out in my imagination. So it hadn’t been difficult to call up the words, the accusations, the truth. But in the process of calling Hannah out on her shitty behavior, I’d put aside Mark’s feelings, and I’d broken his word by breaking mine. He’d told me the truth about his marriage in confidence. Not as ammunition to be used against him.
“Maybe so,” Joan admitted. “But youarehis business, Candace. His life affects yours. You’re in a relationship now. You’re teammates. And I know what it’s like to watch people hurt themselves at the expense of others. He would have taken Hannah’s secret to his grave and suffered every day for it. Honor and devotion are admirable traits when the people you’re sacrificing for deserve it. I know you were just trying to protect him, and, deep down, Mercer knows it too.”
“I hope so,” I said, my voice watery.
“You want to go on my run with me? Might help clear your head? At the very least you wouldn’t be stuck in this freezing office with that creepy-as-hell fish on the wall.”
I frowned. “Don’t talk about Lance Bass that way.”
She shook her head, but she was smiling.
“I think I’ll skip the run today,” I finally answered. “But maybe tomorrow?” I figured I’d be up anyway. It wasn’t like I was sleeping well with all that was weighing on my mind.
My sister nodded and stood. “Okay. I’ll text you.”
I smiled, grateful for the effort Joan was making. “Sounds good.”
“And don’t beat yourself up too much, Candy Cane. Mercer will come around.”
I sure hoped so.
For the next hour, I busied myself by researching the lavender field I wanted to grow in the rear acreage on the farm. It was almost seven when there came another knock at my office door.
A moment later, Mark stuck his head in.
“Hi,” I said quickly, hopping to my feet on instinct as my temperamental desk chair squeaked in protest. My blanket fell away from my shoulders and landed somewhere behind me, but I was too focused on the man before me to care.
“Hey,” he said softly, closing the door behind him.
He stood there, just inside the threshold, watching me for a moment. And I used the time to drink him in in return. He wore a tan work jacket open over a cozy-looking flannel. Mark looked solemn, as always, but there was something cautious in his gaze. He was being careful with me, and I hated it.
It had only been a day and a half since our fight, but the distance between us felt bigger than that. It was like I’d dug a trench with what I’d done. Mark on one side and me on the other.
I could only imagine what he saw, looking at me like that. Messy bun on top of my head and dark circles beneath my eyes. Worry consuming me as I nibbled nervously on my bottom lip.
Finally, when I couldn’t take the silence anymore, I blurted, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mark. You were right. It wasn’t my secret to tell and I broke your trust. It was wrong of me to think I knew best when it was your life I was talking about. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I wanted you to know that I’m sorry for hurting you.” I’d started crying about halfway through my apology, and by the end, I could hardly get the words out.
Mark closed the distance between us and cupped my cheeks in his hands. Using his thumbs, he attempted to wipe away the tears that were falling. Finally, he pulled me against his chest and rubbed my back. “Shhh, Candace. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I mumbled into the soft fabric of his hunter-green flannel.
I felt him inhale and exhale a huge breath before resting his chin atop my head. “I’ve never had someone stand up for me like that before. Yes, your family has always been good to me. Treated me like one of their own despite all the rumors and gossip. But I’ve never had someone who was all mine. A person who’d stand between me and the rest of the damn world. Someone who’d put me first, no questions asked. I didn’t know what to do with that kind of love, Candace. I didn’t know how to deserve it.”
