Hacking and waving away the particles, I finally managed to make eye contact with Joan and reply. “Oh, hi! I was just cleaning out the office.”
Joan’s blue eyes narrowed from beneath the bill of her ball cap. “For what?”
I nearly lost my nerve under her scrutiny but then straightened. “Mom and Dad said I could use it while I’m in town. That it’s just been sitting here empty.”
“Well, yeah. We’re all too busy working to sit behind a desk all day.”
Nodding, I tried not to take her comment personally. Joan was a hard worker, and her job had physical requirements that mine didn’t. But just because I wasn’t outside all day or doing manual labor didn’t mean my work lacked value.
“I know,” I said evenly. “I actually have some ideas for the farm I wanted to run by you. You’re the expert, and I’d really love your input before I bring any of these concepts to Mom and Dad.”
My sister regarded me coolly, like I was a salesman trying to talk her into a time-share and swindle her life savings. “I don’t have time for that. Talk to Mom and Dad all you want, but there isn’t disposable income for trendy marketing schemes. Not beyond the advertising we’ve always done. Don’t take advantage of them, Candy. They’ve never been able to tell you no.”
Hurt and defensiveness had me frowning. I would never take advantage of our parents. And I knew that the farm hardly did more than break even most years. My whole childhood had been centered around budgets, frugal spending, and making ends meet. Sports fees and uniforms had been a luxury. Soccer for Brady and track and cross-country for me. My prom dress had been from the clearance rack at Belk. There hadn’t been a family vacation for the Judds until I’d been nearly fourteen. We’d prayed over the orchard’s yearly harvest at every dinner and sold to reliable vendors who gave us a fair price for our apples. There’d been kitchen table bills and constant saving for the rainy day fund. We’d never been a family who splurged or spent excessively.
Did my sister think I’d been away so long I’d forgotten that?
“I’m just looking for ways to help, Joan,” I admitted quietly, unable to hold her accusatory gaze.
I registered a sigh from the doorway and then the scrape of boots over cement flooring as she walked away.
Maybe it was history or the years between us, but Joan always had the ability tomake me feel like a child. I’d forever be seven years old, trying to impress all the grown-ups in the room with a dance routine.
I didn’t think she did it on purpose, but my sister consistently flattened my self-confidence. It was why I worked hard in my relationships with my peers and co-workers to never quash someone’s enthusiasm. No one liked to feel bad about the things that made them happy.
And I was energized and eager to take my ideas for the farm and turn them into quantifiable profit for my parents.
Or, at least, I had been until Joan made me seem like an opportunist and an idiot to boot.
I wanted to be respected. I wanted to be a valued co-worker and a member of this orchard team. I wanted to be a good daughter and sister.
But I didn’t think I was any of those things currently. Mostly, I just seemed to be in the way.
Joan already thought the worst of me, I winced considering what she’d think if she knew the truth about my return to Kirby Falls. While I was excited to be with my family and put my marketing education and experience to good use here on the farm, I was also home to lick my wounds.
Back in May, I’d been hired by Blakely Hammond, a really prestigious marketing firm. Things had been going great. Well, they’d been...pretty good. I’d learned a lot about the inner workings of a large office, but then I’d made the mistake of mixing business with pleasure. In retrospect, starting up a romantic relationship with my boss hadn’t been the best idea. There had just been so many things I hadn’t realized at the time. Like the fact that Emerson—my former boss—was stealing my ideas and passing them off as his own. I’d thought I was helping, being a team player and an even better girlfriend, but in the three months I’d worked there, Emerson continually took credit for my work, lying to me all the while.
We’d kept our relationship secret, like he’d insisted. I definitely didn’t want to appear unprofessional, but Emerson wasn’t like anyone I’d ever dated before. He was older, for starters. Ten years my senior and more sophisticated by a long shot. He’d encouraged me to take leisurely, romantic lunch breaks with him and to meet him at hotels late at night. I’d never questioned why he didn’t invite meover, and I’d been too embarrassed to have him come to my tiny third-floor studio apartment.
Looking back, I could see what an idiot I’d been, but it didn’t make that particular pill any easier to swallow.
One day, a frazzled-looking woman with a baby on her hip had burst into Emerson’s office while I’d been in the hallway. I’d watched in horror through the clear glass windows as he’d taken the baby from her and smiled and reassured her through whatever crisis had been going on.
“The little wife has a meltdown at least once a month,” his administrative assistant had whispered to me conspiratorially. I’d been frozen in front of her desk, watching the drama unfold with dawning horror and sinking dread. “Comes barging in with the baby. Probably locked herself out again.”
Emerson had glanced over and spotted me by then, but the rest of the story was just a tragic tale best left in the annals of human resource training videos.
A knock sounded that had my head snapping up and out of the pathetic Lifetime movie spinning on repeat in my head.
“Hey,” Brady said with a strained smile. Add that to the fact he hadn’t called me butthead or buttmunch or some variety of butt-focused name indicated he’d seen Joan stalk away from me.
“Hi.”
My brother took in the meager offerings of the room. His eyes touched on the stack of boxes in the corner, the filing cabinets, the yearbook I held in my lap, and the wall-mounted Lance Bass—my new best friend.
Eventually his blue eyes—the same shade as Joan’s—settled on me where I hunched behind the desk. “She’ll come around,” he said sympathetically. “Just give her some time.”
I nodded.
