As soon as I was through the doorway, she snagged my hand and pulled me down the hall and into the laundry room.
I took in her wide, frantic gaze and tried not to feel disappointed over how uncomfortable she was to have me in her space.
“Mac,” I said softly, cupping her face in my hands. “You have to stop freaking out. Everything is okay. You don’t need to put on a show. This isn’t trivia night fighting for the town’s benefit. This is your family. They love you. We can just go in there and eat. You’re the one making this weird.”
She winced. “I know. I can’t help it.”
“Do you need an orgasm to calm down?”
A surprised laugh burst out of her. Then her shoulders relaxed by degrees until they were no longer up around her ears. She smiled at me—a real one, red-stained lips stretched wide. “I’m sorry. I don’t like being surprised. Or ganged up on.”
I placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I know. But we’ve got this.”
We returned to the dining room and joined the others just as Patty and Becca placed the last of the dishes on the table. Maggie said grace, and then the chaos resumed. Conversations and clinking silverware, dishes passed from hand to hand.
I had a full plate and Mac at my side, her knee a comforting weight against mine beneath the table.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Larry said abruptly from across the table.
I paused with a mashed-potato-loaded fork in midair.
“Mac made those spuds, and she probably poisoned them, knowing you’d dig right in,” Larry lamented.
Grinning, I said, “Well, thanks for trying to keep me alive.”
“I don’t have the energy to bury a body tonight,” she deadpanned. “My sciatica’s been acting up.”
Everyone laughed, Mac included. After that, I could see the remaining tension ease out of her. Her cousin’s teasing had restored order, returned everything to its rightful place. If they all were reminded that we hated each other, then we were back on comfortable ground.
Briefly and bitterly, I wondered what they’d all do if I kissed the hell out of Mac right in front of them. I was pretty sure Becca would cheer.
I shouldn’t feel disappointed. Things were going well. Everyone was laughing and talking. Mac was enjoying herself now.
But as good as the food was, my stomach felt sour with the weight of my lies. I was tired of hiding the truth. With my awareness came my inability to ignore the way I felt. I wanted to drag Mac outside and confess. Tell her I loved her and I wanted to come to dinner here every Sunday for the rest of our lives.
However, I made myself focus. I listened to the conversations and joined in when I could. I didn’t think about Mac’s knee pressed against mine beneath the table, a silenteverything’s okay, they don’t knowtapped out in unspoken code.
With my hand in my hoodie pocket, I toyed with the keyboard letter I’d stolen earlier in the day. And I worked out what I would say when it was time to bury the secrets and lies.
Later that night, after I thanked Maggie for dinner and said my goodbyes, I turned down Mac’s offer to drive me back to the orchard.
Instead, my thoughts kept me company as I walked through the Clarks’ property and back down across the highway to my truck.
I could tell Mac was confused and disappointed. We did typically spend most nights together. But I didn’t want to lose my nerve. If I followed her home or saw her asleep in my bed, I’d do anything to keep her there. Even keep playing these games.
Part of me thought she wasn’t ready. Her reaction tonight at potential discovery had peeled back a particularly revealing layer. And this was her family—the people who loved her best. What did it mean that she’d been so fearful of their reactions?
But I was going to talk to her and soon. She needed to know I loved her and I wanted to do this for real.
I’d woken just before five in the morning, unable to get back to sleep. Especially when there wasn’t a reason to keep me in bed, like a smart-mouthed brunette.
It was nearing seven when I finished up a batch of shortbread bars as a thank-you for Maggie’s hospitality. The kitchen smelled like butter and sugar, and it eased some of the restlessness in me.
My phone buzzed on the counter, and I abandoned the sink and the dirty dishes there when I saw the notification.
MacKenzie: Did you seriously steal the letter D from my keyboard?
I laughed out loud into the quiet apartment, thinking about the small, pale square sitting on my bedside table right this minute.
