What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I feeling disappointed by the possibility of sex?
Because, I thought,you know one time won’t ever be enough.
“It doesn’t have to be a big deal,” she was saying. “It’s just sex.”
It wouldn’t bejustanything to me.
I laughed even though she’d unknowingly taken an ice pick to my heart. “Are you propositioning me, Mac Daddy?”
“No, Jesus. I just thought it would ...” Mac’s eyes scanned my face like the words she was searching for were hidden there. “I just thought it might fix whatever is happening here.”
Fix. Like we were broken.
I cleared the roughness and disappointment from my throat. “And we’d just go back to normal after?”
Mac swallowed and retreated a step. “Listen, if you don’t want to, that’s fine by me.”
I laughed again, nearly breathless with relief that she hadn’t actually answered my question. There was no going back for me. “Look at you backpedaling,” I teased. “You training for the Tour de France?”
She gritted her teeth, and I grinned.
This was the moment. I could tell her I wanted to date her and lose her for good, or I could go along with her stupid get-it-out-of-our-systems plan and have more time with her.
As if I’d ever be able to extricate her. I couldn’t separate our histories or untangle all my memories. There was no going back for either of us. She just didn’t know it yet.
I simply had to hope that when the time came, once wouldn’t be enough for her either.
“Well, I just want you to know that I require a little more than that. I need to be wooed and romanced before I put out.”
“What?” she laughed incredulously.
“I’m not that easy.”
Mac blinked. “Well, you seemed pretty easy to me on that hay bale over there.”
“Oh really? Because one of us got off on that hay bale over there, and it wasn’t me.” It almost was, though.
Mac glared at the reminder, but I pressed on, “I want a date first. Dinner or a movie. Something.”
She hesitated.
“Is that so much to ask, Mac? Really?”
She watched me for a long moment as if she was weighing the pros and cons, like maybe getting naked with me might not be worth it if she was subjected to a meal beforehand.
Finally, her gaze drifted to my lips, and she said, “Fine. But I get to pick. And it’s one night, Judd. One. Then we’ll never speak of it again.”
The following day, I got a text from an unknown number:I’ll pick you up Friday at 6:30.
I grinned and updated the contact info.
Me: Is this one of those phishing scams? Are you, a stranger, trying to gain my trust so I’ll buy your bitcoins or something?
Miggity Miggity Mac: No, you idiot. It’s Mac. I’ll pick you up Friday for our date.*
Me: What’s the asterisk for?
Miggity Miggity Mac: Because it’s not a real date. More like terms and conditions.
