I didn’t need a reminder of why it was unwise to rely on people. Bonnie had been a wreck over her divorce and the husband who she insisted didn’t want her anymore. I wasn’t naïve enough to assume the demise of her marriage had been that simple.
But it was one more reason why relationships were messy. The more people you let into your life, the more power you gave away—almost always into the hands of individuals who would hurt you or disappoint you. If you let them.
I didn’t need heartbroken Bonnie Clark to confirm any of that. I only had to look at the woman who raised me. The long grayhair and the weathered face. The stern frown lines that no longer went away.
Lia had lost her husband early in their marriage. And when she’d gained a grandson, she’d lost a daughter for her trouble. She knew just as well as I did that loss was a part of life. It was better to control what you could from the start.
My mother had been a wild child and town troublemaker, too. I guessed that apple didn’t fall very far from the tree. As a young adult, she’d screwed around with married men, and, eventually, her luck had run out. She’d gotten pregnant with me at twenty-two and handed me off to Lia to raise. There’d been no birthday cards, no calls on Christmas. Nothing.
We never heard from my mother again.
If I’d never come along, Lia would still have her daughter. My mom wouldn’t have run off and abandoned her life and her only family.
I didn’t know who my father was. He’d never been in the picture, but it didn’t matter. He was just another person who didn’t want me. Another person who let me down.
My eyes strayed to Lia, who was dishing up scrambled eggs into a wide serving bowl.
I’d had stability and support thanks to her. Maybe we weren’t overly affectionate or emotional, but we had each other’s backs. Over the years, we’d shown up for one another when it mattered. She’d proven that family didn’t always look like a mom and a dad and one point five siblings. We’d made our own way.
And, sure, I’d been a teenage fuckup, but Lia hadn’t given up on me. That was what love really looked like.
Briefly, I thought of Bonnie again.
How could I throw away something I spent half my life building and just start over?she’d said with self-loathing and humiliation in her voice.
But I didn’t think there was anything shameful about it. She’d wanted to fight for her marriage, not abandon it. While I didn’t agree with the institution as a whole, I had to admire her determination and loyalty.
And if her stupid fucking husband was too selfish to see that, then he didn’t deserve her.
“Slice your bread,” Lia called over her shoulder, drawing me out of my pointless thoughts about a stranger.
I washed my hands and grabbed a cutting board from the cabinet. We worked quietly in tandem to get the simple meal on the table.
Once we were settled with full plates and steaming cups of coffee, Lia asked, “How’s the bar?” Her question was accompanied by an accusing gleam in her eye over the rim of her mug.
My grandmother thought I worked too much. And while I’d tried the work-life-balance thing, I’d gotten sidetracked by Hurricane Bonnie this past week and hadn’t managed to get back on course.
I’d stayed late every night and closed up for Sasha when she’d called in sick on Friday.
“Good,” I said, once I’d finished chewing. It wasn’t a lie. Magnolia was doing well financially. Plus, we had a stable work environment. I paid my employees a fair wage, and they stayed.
However, I knew that wasn’t what Lia was asking.
She proved it a moment later by asking, “You got any plans this week? Seeing friends or going on a date?”
I shot her a look.
“What? Can’t a grandmother be curious about her grandson’s life?”
Sighing, I said, “We don’t do that shit, Lia.”
She scowled and focused on slathering apple butter across a thick slice of sourdough. “Well, maybe we should. You need to get out more. You need friends.”
“I have you,” I interjected.
“Friends your own age, Jack.”
An uncomfortable knot formed in the center of my chest. I had people I was friendly with, people who I spoke to if I saw them around town. But I didn’t make plans or go out with anyone. There were no group chats or text threads. Instead, I had invoices and payroll. Employees and paperwork.
