“He should be on a yacht somewhere.”
Nodding, my sister added, “Or a red carpet.”
“Or getting manscaped.”
“I bet he has people for that,” she said with a grin, making me recall our very first conversation about the great and spoiled Dorian Masters.
“Probably a whole team responsible for the length of his eyebrows,” I mused.
She chuckled. “Even if they waxed something important off, he’d still be handsome.”
“I bet he even looks good on the checkout lane security cameras.”
“Probably doesn’t scare himself when his cell phone camera is accidentally forward facing.”
My laughter trailed off. Then I said thoughtfully, “He looks good with his hair short. I wasn’t expecting that.”
Candace nodded her agreement.
“And he’s smarter than I thought he’d be,” I continued, knowing that sounded terrible and judgy. “And he’s funny. The charm was obvious fromthe beginning, but he doesn’t wield it like a weapon, you know. I thought the arrogance thing would get on my nerves, but Ian’s actually really humble. If I ask him about acting, he tells me all the technical stuff, never mentioning his awards or accolades. It’s almost like he uses arrogance to deflect.”
Staring off, I thought of another thing. “And he’s so good with his nephew. It could not have been easy to take in a seven-year-old when he didn’t know anything about kids. But Ian’s unexpectedly patient and gentle with George.”
“That’s true,” Candace agreed distantly.
“I’ve never seen him be demanding with people, you know, how I assumed a movie star would be. He thanks everyone and tips generously. He’d get stuck signing autographs and taking selfies all day if you let him. Did you know Darren has been with him since his very first press tour? He hired him away from the security firm his production company used. Been with him ever since. I just assumed?—”
I cut myself off when I finally noticed the way my sister was watching me. “What?”
Candace looked like she had a secret, but she wasn’t sure if she should spill it.
She hesitated, so I asked again, “What is it?”
“I know you’re not fishing for compliments, but obviously Ian likes you.That’swhy he kissed you. You can act confused about it or disbelieving or whatever, but that’s what it boils down to. He wants you. He probably has a list in his head of all the surprising, wonderful things about you, too. Like the one you said out loud just now about him.”
I opened my mouth to object, but Candace held up a finger.
“You love to say he’s just a person. From the very beginning, when the rest of us were all starstruck local yokels, you claimed you weren’t intimidated by Ian’s celebrity status. But you’re all mixed up about him kissing you because ... he’s a famous actor? How is that fair? You’re questioning his motives because you’re the one thinking he’s too good for you. You can’t have it both ways, Joanie. You can’t hold something against him thatyou refuse to acknowledge or entertain unless it suits your misgivings. If you really believe he’s just like any other guy, then give him a chance. Go on a date with him. Kiss him again. Be brave about this the way you’re brave about everything else.”
I stared at my sister, feeling the truth of her words in the ugly twist in my stomach, in the way a ready denial shaped itself on my sharp tongue.
Candace was right. I’d been a hypocrite. I’d spent a lot of time and energy ensuring everyone knew that I wasn’t affected by the great Dorian Masters. And I must have sold it pretty well, because this was the first time anyone had called me on being a liar. Lying to my friends and my family. Lying to myself.
Of courseit mattered that Ian was a celebrity. It would be like trying to date another species. Our lives were farther apart than just North Carolina and California. There was a gulf between us. Of experience and understanding, expectations and commonality.
“Why are you pushing for me to give Ian a chance?” I asked, rather than admit the truth.
Candace placed her elbows on the desk and leaned forward. “Because I don’t want you to miss out on something just because you’re scared and too stubborn to admit it. Ian is so good for you, and you don’t even see it. I want you to be happy. That doesn’t always mean finding happiness in someone else. Instead, it can just mean sharing it with the right person.”
The tiny ache that lived in my chest flared brightly. A voice whispered that I was getting too close, losing too much of myself to someone who could never stick around.
“We’ve been spending so much time together,” I said, testing out a theory. “Maybe that’s all this is. Proximity or something.”
“How does anyone get to know someone? They spend a lot of time together. I don’t think it matters that he’s famous in that regard.”
When I didn’t argue or defend my theory, Candace wondered, “Are you worried things will change when filming starts back up tomorrow? That this has all been some novelty small-town vacation for him?”
A bittersweet grin twisted my lips. “Christmas with the Judds.”
