Laughing, I reached over and hugged her as safely as I could while she was driving. “I’m so fucking happy for you.”
“Really?” she asked, and she sounded like a little girl again. The one who’d followed me into the fields every Sunday after church and begged me to put on a talent show for our parents.
“Of course, I’m happy for you,” I practically yelled. Maybe Iwasa little drunk. “You and Mercer are going to be amazing parents, Candace. I can’t wait to be their aunt. They’ll have Brady for all the fun uncle stuff. But they’ll have me too.”
At that, my sister burst into loud, messy tears.
When she finally pulled over and shifted into park, she explained, “I cry at everything. I’m sorry. And I was going to tell you. It’s just very early?—”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I interrupted, pulling her into another hug, this one better because the car wasn’t moving.
Still teary-eyed and emotional, my sister said, “Mark is so, so happy. He was dying to tell you. But I made him promise to let me, since, you know, you’remysister.”
I smiled.
I was sure Mercer was thrilled. He and Candace had only been married a few months, but he loved my sister, and he had family man stamped all over him.
And considering Mercer’s past, I was nothing but relieved that my friend was getting the life he deserved.
There had been a time when I’d worried that Mercer might never get over what he’d been through. Back in college, his best friend, Hannah, had gotten pregnant unexpectedly. After the baby’s father had broken things off and told her he wanted no part of the baby’s life, she’d shown up on Mercer’s dorm-room doorstep and begged him to get married. Her reverend father would have disowned her, and Mercer knew that.
So he’d married her. They’d moved in together right away, and let everyone assume the baby was his. Mercer had dropped out of school so Hannah could finish her degree while he stayed home with a newborn.
All of that sacrifice, for Hannah to file for a divorce a year into their marriage because she’d been dating behind Mercer’s back and had fallen in love with someone else. She’d told Mercer he had no rights and had taken the baby and left, moving out of state.
It had been a sad, awful chapter in Mercer’s life, but that was a whole other story.
“How are you feeling? Have you been sick?” I asked my sister.
Candace told me she’d been fine so far, but there was a tremble in her voice. Her fingers tightened reflexively on the steering wheel as she gazed out the windshield.
I swallowed and asked very gently, “Are you scared?”
“So scared,” she admitted in a rush. “Like, what if I don’t know what I’m doing? What if I don’t hold the baby right? Or what if I’m not maternal? What if I can’t breastfeed or I have postpartum depression? What if the baby has sleep regression or-or-or food allergies or I end up being a terrible mother?”
“Candace, breathe,” I instructed, and then reached for my sister’s hand.
Her wide hazel eyes met mine, and I smiled a watery smile.
“You know,” I told her, “shitty moms probably never sit around and worry about any of those things.” Still smiling, I went on, “You’re going to do great because you’re willing to learn. You learned how to work on the farm. You learned how to be in a relationship. And now you’ll learn how to be a good mother. I believe in you, Candace. And you and Mercer will figure out this baby thing together. They’ll be the first Judd grandbaby. We’ll all be learning together, but I promise, we’ll be right there with you.”
My sister nodded, some of the panic leaving her face. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Raising a kid will be a big change for all of us, but it’s going to be a good one.”
Candace nodded some more. I thought that might be all she was capable of currently. Sure didn’t seem like she was in any shape to drive a car yet.
All of a sudden, she brightened. “You know, you’ve kind of been raising a kid for the last few months. I know Georgie’s not a baby, but that’s definitely some experience you’re bringing to the table.”
Whatever feelings I’d buried earlier tonight with all that tequila bubbled to the surface abruptly. Sadness battled with the happiness I’d been feeling only moments ago.
“I don’t think that’s the same, Candace.”
“But it is. You love Georgie. He’s with you nearly every day. You know his favorite foods and which stories he likes before bed. You take care of him.”
“That’s different,” I insisted again.
