‘Changing the subject entirely, have you heard from Dan how Alex is doing?’ asked Lucy, trying to keep her voice casual but instantly feeling sick at the thought of him having a separate life, separate experiences that she knew nothing about.
‘Ummm… not really. He has moved in with his sister for the time being, living in the spare room apparently,’ Claudia said.
‘Which one?’
‘The one that lives in London?’
‘Oh, Isabel, well yes that makes sense,’ Lucy said. ‘Is he dating anyone?’ she asked tentatively, hoping beyond hope that the answer would be no.
‘I honestly don’t know, Luce,’ Claudia said. ‘But you’ve got to try not to think about that. What he does now is no longer your concern, as painful as it may be.’
‘I know, you’re right. But it’s not easy. The thought of that still makes me feel physically sick.’
‘Will you see him?’ Claudia asked. ‘Are you going to try and get in touch?’
‘No,’ said Lucy. ‘I’ve thought about it, but I just can’t. It’s too hard. I feel like I’m doing fairly well by myself now, and I know that if I see him it will send me hurtling back to square one.’
‘I think that’s very sensible,’ Claudia said.
They proceeded to chat about Claudia’s work for a while. She was a PA for a monumental bitch in the world of finance, and Lucy loved nothing more than listening to Claudia’s character assassination of her boss and the accompanying stories. She had been particularly bad recently, and Claudia’s daily texts reporting on her antics had been a wonderful source of amusement over the course of the last few weeks, proving to be a fantastic distraction from her blue moods.
Sending Dan lots of love and promising to come over the next evening for supper, she eventually hung up the phone. She then texted Tor to see if she could pencil in lunch for the following Saturday with her and her godson, Otto. Tor immediately phoned back to check in on her, to find out how she was feeling being back in the flat, showering her with positive messages about the future and motivational talk as only Tor could, mid breast-feed! Otto suddenly appeared to have had enough of his mother’s attentions lying elsewhere, proceeding to scream in protest, forcing Tor to hang up the phone whilst apologizing like crazy for her son’s rude manners.
Chuckling to herself and feeling lucky to have such amazing friends, Lucy turned on the oven to the maximum temperature and shoved one of the potatoes into bake. Next she began to unpack her clothes, all carefully washed by her darling mother and smelling of home, before pottering around the flat tidying and cleaning happily, with an episode ofNew Girlplaying on the television. She had a glass of crisp, white Sauvignon Blanc, cold from the fridge, as she ate her dinner, perusing the channels to choose a movie. She settled on an old favourite,The Bridges of Madison County,and sank back to enjoy it. She tested her emotions to see how she felt, as though dipping her toes into the sea to test the temperature of the water. She realized to her satisfaction that she was okay, and she knew, from that moment on, things would begin to get better.
