‘It’s meant to tell you something,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t put just anyone’s name in this sacred space, y’know!’ he muttered, pulling her towards him and wrapping her in his warm embrace. He kissed her, and said, ‘I love you, Luce.’
Overwhelmed with emotion, tears sprung into her eyes as she kissed him back, happiness radiating from every cell in her body. ‘I love you too, Rory,’ she whispered, hugging him back. She had no idea how long they stood there, kissing and holding each other through their smiles, a bubble of happiness isolating them from the rest of the world.
Later, having hidden the bag of sweets in a suitably secret alcove in the tree house, Lucy and Rory walked hand in hand back to the farmhouse, unable to wipe the broad grins from their faces, like a pair of lovesick teenagers.
By the time they got back to the house, Connor, Darragh and Rosie were about to explode with excitement. They barrelled into the garden at breakneck speed, sprinting down the grass to start looking for clues, Rosie trying her best to keep up with her brothers. The adults all joined them as they walked through the woods, following the trail that Lucy and Rory had carefully laid out for them. The treasure was discovered by the boys in record time, and kindly shared with Rosie who was teetering from her father’s shoulders, having grown tired of the search. With the bounty safely stowed in the children’s coat pockets, the whole party trudged back to the warmth of the cosy farmhouse, ready to devour a hearty lunch of fish pie and peas that Trina had prepared that morning.
In the afternoon, Rory took Lucy on a tour of the local area in their hire car. On the way home they stopped off at his local pub. Lucy was delighted to discover a group of musicians playing Irish jigs on their fiddles in the corner. The rest of the customers all seemed to know the tunes and were singing along. There was a lot of feet stamping, impromptu shouts and trills, and even a sweet little girl who was ushered into the middle of the pub to dance. Lucy was very impressed with the speed at which her legs moved, flicking upwards and side to side as though she were a puppet with strings being pulled this way and that. All the while her back was straight, with her arms held firmly by her side, a lovely smile fixed on her sweet little face. Lucy was feeling rather nauseous. She ordered a Diet Coke, hoping the bubbles would help settle her stomach, while Rory had the obligatory pint of Guinness.
That evening the whole McCullan family sat down to dinner together, a tasty roast that everyone had helped to prepare that afternoon while Lucy and Rory had been out exploring. It was a very happy meal, full of laughter and chatter. Lucy had to strain her ears at times to stay abreast of the conversation, they all certainly had the gift of the gab and she had to concentrate to keep up with their rapid-fire talking. Rory’s accent was now stronger than ever and she loved seeing him so relaxed in his home surroundings.
On Sunday morning, after a deep and undisturbed sleep thanks to the depths of the countryside and without London’s sirens and building works to awaken them, Lucy and Rory made their way down for a late breakfast. Paddy was in charge of cooking breakfast on Sunday mornings.
‘The full Irish, my love?’ he asked Lucy.
‘How kind!’ she said as he presented them with a plate of bacon and eggs with sides of mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread. Lucy’s stomach turned slightly at the sight of it, but she was determined not to be rude, and gratefully accepted the plate before sitting down at the table, breathing deeply to rid herself of the wave of nausea that was washing up the back of her throat. She felt so sick at the thought of having to eat the eggs that she felt absurdly close to tears.
Rory noticed her expression and the greenish tinge to her complexion, and whispered, ‘You okay?’ with a concerned look on his face.
‘I’m just feeling a little bit sick,’ said Lucy, trying to put a smile on her face.
‘You haven’t been right for some time, have you?’ said Rory, looking worried. ‘Perhaps you should see a doctor when you get back home?’ he suggested. ‘These things don’t usually last so long.’
‘Perhaps you’re right,’ agreed Lucy, crossing her fingers tightly behind her back as she did so, unable to even contemplate where this conversation could end up. Forcing herself to be brave, she loaded her fork with a mouthful of eggs, took a bite, and realized too late her mistake. There was no way she was going to be able to keep that down. Overwhelmed with the sure knowledge that she was about to be sick, she pushed her chair back from the table as fast as she possibly could and ran to the nearest bathroom, reaching the loo just in time.
After she had been sick she felt slightly better, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away. She knew that she could put it off no longer, her heart began to sink as she realized that the feeling of being under the weather that she had been unable to shake off for the last few weeks may well be easily explained. The bittersweet realization hit her: she must be pregnant.
Rory was waiting outside the door. Checking whether it was okay to come in, he nudged the door open and came and sat next to her on the floor, rubbing her back. ‘You poor thing,’ he said. ‘What can I do to make you feel better? I can’t bear seeing you like this.’
She suddenly realised that she couldn’t put it off a moment longer. She had to know once and for all. ‘Rory,’ said Lucy, taking a deep breath, ‘would you mind driving me to the pharmacy?’ she asked. ‘I think I had better do a test.’
A shadow of confusion flickered over Rory’s face, swiftly followed by understanding. ‘Oh, you think you could be pregnant?’ he asked, unable to stop the beginnings of a smile from twitching at the corners of his mouth.
Lucy shook her head, ‘I don’t know.’
Rory gave her a hug and said, ‘Well, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, y’know. I mean, I haven’t really thought about it, but definitely someday I’d love nothing more.’ Seeing her worried expression, he said, ‘It’d be okay, Lucy, really it would.’
She loved him even more for his reaction, but the truth was, it would not be okay if the baby was not his. She felt as though she was on the precipice of a cliff about to step off the edge. As soon as she crossed that point she knew there would be no going back. She just couldn’t put it off any longer.
The rest of the family were heading out for a long walk up the Sugarloaf. They were very understanding and sympathetic when they heard that Lucy wasn’t feeling well and agreed that it would be best if they just stayed at home so she could rest. As soon as they had gone, Rory nipped out to the local pharmacy to buy Lucy a test. The wait for him to return was one of the longest of Lucy’s life. She felt as though her perfect future was in the palm of her hand but that it had suddenly started to crumble, sliding through her grasp like grains of sand disappearing into the wind.
A short while later Rory came back, clutching a paper bag. He seemed in an indescribably happy mood, the prospect of impending fatherhood did not seem to worry him in the slightest; in fact, Lucy realized, his eyes were full of hope. He was hoping the result might be positive. If only he knew what that could mean, that the baby could just as easily not be his. How could fate be so cruel?
Smiling thanks to Rory for buying her the test, she went into the bathroom, clutching the little box. She knew the routine; she had done it many times before, remembering the crushing disappointment each time a single blue line appeared. As she peed on the stick, she caught a flicker of hope, of excitement, that the baby she had longed for, had worked so hard for, might finally have arrived. But this was overshadowed with utter dread for the implications of what that would mean. If she was pregnant, the baby would either be Rory’s or an unknown donor. If it was Rory’s then she could allow herself to believe that he could forgive her, that he would stay by her side and everything would be okay. It might be a bit soon in their relationship but she was confident they would be strong enough to make it work. But if it turned out the baby wasn’t his….she couldn’t bear thinking about it. She couldn’t believe the timing. He had just told her that he loved her and now she was potentially about to destroy everything. She had to be honest with him.
Rory knocked on the door, and said, ‘Luce, let’s wait for the results together, okay?’ He saw tears wetting her cheeks and wiped them away with kisses. ‘Hey, don’t cry, I know that this is scary but we’ll get through it together. I love you, Lucy,’ he said, wrapping his arms around her.
‘I love you too,’ whispered Lucy, knowing that those words had never been more truly spoken.
They sat on the sofa, the stick in front of them, waiting. Nothing happened. They stared at the little square window where the results would show. The seconds ticked by. Eventually two thin blue lines began to emerge. Instantly, Lucy knew that this time was different. She felt time slow down as her mind spun with a million different emotions. A tidal wave of joy rushed over her: pure, undiluted joy at the knowledge that she was finally, finallypregnant. She was also flooded with a feeling of relief that she had been able to conceive when she knew only too well how many women could not, but mostly she was filled with terror at the thought of having to tell Rory that this baby may not be his. All these emotions came at once, a wall of feeling that she was slammed into with full force.
Meanwhile Rory had been giving a running commentary of ‘There are two lines, are there two lines? What does that mean? That means you’re pregnant, right? Oh my god, let me check the packet. Yes, it says two lines pregnant. Oh my god. Oh my GOD… you’re PREGNANT!!!’ This last bit he shouted so loudly, a grin exploding from ear to ear as he grabbed Lucy and kissed her all over her face, saying over and over again, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it.’
Lucy quietly said, ‘Rory,’ trying to get his attention. She repeated it several times but to no avail, eventually she rose her voice and shouted, ‘Rory,stop!’
He looked at her in confusion. ‘What is it?’ he muttered quietly, seeing something in her eyes that filled his face with instant doubt.
‘I’ve got something I need to tell you,’ she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
