‘What shall we call her?’ Lucy whispered, unable to take her eyes off the baby’s face. They were both utterly mesmerized by her charming, tiny features.
‘You know what?’ he said. ‘I think she looks just like an Annie.’
Lucy smiled, staring down at the baby’s perfect little face, still red and wrinkled in protest at her abrupt arrival in this cold and mysterious outside world. ‘Annie,’ she said. ‘It’s perfect!’
The midwife examined Lucy once again, lifting the blanket that was covering her modesty. Rory saw a flicker of alarm glance across her face. She tried her best to conceal her concern, quickly rearranging her features into a professional smile, but Rory hadn’t missed the initial look of worry at whatever it was she had seen.
‘I don’t want to worry you, my love, but I’m going to have to call for the doctor,’ the midwife said. ‘There’s still quite a bit of bleeding down here.’ She pressed a button on the side of the bed.
Rory’s heart skipped a beat. This was clearly not what should be happening after a natural delivery. He smiled reassuringly at Lucy who was looking at him anxiously over Annie’s tiny head. She looked so tired, after everything she had just been through to safely deliver her baby this was the last thing she needed to hear.
A few moments later a doctor appeared. He was accompanied by a nurse. They seemed to enter the room in a hurry, giving both Lucy and Rory a smile and introducing themselves before huddling around Lucy’s notes several paces away from the bed, talking to the midwife. After a muted discussion which Rory was unable to overhear despite straining his ears, they came over, explaining to Lucy that they were going to examine her to see what the problem was. Quickly, they began to attach various monitors to her, picking up her heart rate and inserting an IV into her arm. Rory could see the worried look on the kindly midwife’s face once again. Whatever was happening was clearly a cause for concern. He felt a wave of panic rise up in his chest, a tightening sensation that quickened his breath. The doctor wasn’t pausing to make chitchat. He examined Lucy and checked the monitors, frowning as he spoke to his fellow medics using jargon that neither Rory nor Lucy understood.
‘Is there something wrong?’ Rory asked, determined to gain at least some control of the situation, to find out what was actually happening. He put his hand on Lucy’s to reassure her as she clutched little Annie close to her chest.
‘You are bleeding quite heavily,’ the doctor explained to Lucy. ‘I’m afraid you’re still losing rather a lot of blood.’
‘Is that normal?’ asked Lucy.
Rory suddenly noticed that she was looking very pale. The shock and emotion of Annie’s arrival had been so enormous that he hadn’t stopped to think about how Lucy might be doing. Why was she losing so much blood? Something must have happened during the birth. His heart began to pound and he felt a wave of panic rush up his throat.
‘Not quite this much, no.’ said the doctor. ‘I’m afraid we’re going to have to get you into surgery as quickly as possible. We need to find out what’s going on so that we can stop the bleeding.’ The doctor was using a calm and steady tone to explain the situation to them but Rory had had enough experience of doctors to recognize when they were trying their best not to reveal too much. The mere mention of surgery had sent his heart rate rocketing skyward. He was filled with dread at the thought of something happening to Lucy.
The midwife took the baby from Lucy’s arms as the medical team, now joined by a second doctor, bustled around her. Lucy sobbed that she didn’t want to leave her baby, but the midwife had already whisked her away, giving her no choice. Rory took a couple of stunned steps backwards as they moved Lucy onto a gurney. His heart was beating loudly in his ears; he felt anxiety prickle up and down his spine. His head began to ache. He wished he could slow everything down and just get his head around what was happening but he knew that there was a reason for the urgency. She needed help quickly.
‘You’ll be all right,’ said Rory as he moved closer to her, bending down to kiss her. His eyes were brimming with tears. She looked afraid and frighteningly pale, so small and vulnerable lying there. So helpless.
‘But… Annie,’ she whispered, her eyes filling with tears once more.
‘I’ll stay with Annie, don’t worry,’ Rory said. ‘I love you… You’re going to be fine, just as soon as they fix you up. It’s okay Luce, don’t worry.’
It was all happening so incredibly fast. Too fast. Before he knew it they were wheeling her out of the room. He wanted to shout at them to stop, but he stood there, helpless to do anything but watch. ‘She’ll be alright, won’t she?’ he repeated to the doctor as he steered the gurney into the corridor. Rory felt his head spin. He could tell just how concerned the doctor was from the look in his eyes. The doctor nodded curtly at him and vanished out of the door.
‘There, there love,’ said the midwife as Annie began to cry gently. ‘It’s okay, daddy’s here.’ The midwife gave Annie to Rory. His eyes brimmed with tears as he cradled the tiny bundle in his arms for the first time. He could hardly believe how light she was. How fragile. His heart expanded yet again with an overwhelming surge of love. Lucy should be here with them. This wasn’t right. His heart wrenched at the thought of her scared and alone.
‘Where have they taken her?’ he asked, dumbfounded by what had just happened. The room seemed desperately empty all of a sudden.
‘They’ve taken her up to surgery, dear,’ she said. ‘She’s in the very best possible hands, don’t you worry.’ She gave him a kind smile and patted his hand, squeezing his arm gently.
Rory sat down on the chair in the corner of the room as the midwife stripped the blood-stained sheets from the bed, still warm from where Lucy had been lying just moments before. He had heard of complications from childbirth, of course, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that something like this would happen to her. He prayed that she would be all right, that it was just a routine procedure, easily fixed.
The midwife chatted happily away to Rory about her grandchildren as she bustled about the room, no doubt trying to distract him from what was currently happening to Lucy. Rory could barely take in what she was saying. His ears were ringing. He felt so helpless, there was nothing he could do to protect Lucy now, she was in the hands of the surgeons. There was nothing he could do but wait. It felt so wrong, so unnatural that she wasn’t there with them. His heart felt twisted with angst and his nerves jangled with fear.
He sat in the same spot, waiting for Lucy, for what felt like hours. Every time someone came in to check on Annie, his heart leapt into his mouth. He was longing for news. Whenever he asked for an update, all anyone said was, ‘She’s still in surgery.’ The panic rose steadily inside him as he realized quite how long she had been gone. Annie was sleeping in her tiny cot next to him. Rory kept his eyes fixed on the door, repeating silent prayers over and over again in his head. He had never felt so utterly helpless, so completely desperate.
Eventually the door opened once again. It was the doctor who had come to see Lucy earlier. He walked quietly into the room. Rory felt his heart skip a beat. He felt as though everything was happening in slow motion. As if he couldn’t engage with the situation properly. He braced himself for what was to come.
