‘I want to keep the baby,’ she said, watching him to see his reaction. He nodded slowly. ‘Would you want me to get rid of it?’ she asked.
He paused then shook his head. ‘I’m Catholic, Libby. I am opposed to abortion. Any child is a gift from God. Plus my family would never forgive me.’
She was relieved that he felt the same way.
‘This changes everything,’ he said. She could tell he was in a deep state of shock. She felt responsible somehow, and kept telling herself it wasn’t her fault. ‘How did this happen?’ he asked. ‘We were careful…’
‘I don’t know. I keep asking myself the same question. We used condoms, every time we’ve had sex we’ve used one – the only explanation is that one must have broken or come off without us realising. I feel so irresponsible.’
Luca nodded. ‘What will you do about going home?’ he asked.
‘I can’t change my plans,’ Libby said. ‘I need the money, for starters, and will need the money more than ever if the baby arrives. I can’t throw away all my training, all that hard work, and give up my ambitions when this might not even work out.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘One in six pregnancies miscarry.’
‘Really? That’s a lot.’
‘Exactly. So we have to accept that might happen. Which I am sure would be a relief to us both.’
‘But if not, then what?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I can’t leave my job, my flat, my family… I can’t just give everything up, my whole life—’
‘I know. I wouldn’t ask you to.’
‘Oh my god, this is impossible,’ Luca rested his head on his hands and sighed.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, rubbing his shoulders.
‘I’m sorry too, Libby,’ he said. ‘This is a lot for you too.’
They sat side by side and talked through their options, all appetite lost. They decided to wait and see what happened in the next three weeks. Libby would go back to London as planned, and they would let nature take its course. If the pregnancy got as far as twelve weeks when the rate of miscarriage dropped considerably, then they would reconsider.
‘So you want to continue being with me?’ asked Libby. ‘Despite all of this?’
‘Libby, I adore you. I am not going to abandon you because you are pregnant – who do you take me for?’
Libby’s eyes filled with tears as she realised that she had been anticipating exactly that outcome. ‘I think I am falling in love with you,’ he said softly, taking her hand.
‘Oh Luca, I think I am falling in love with you too.’ She smiled through her tears and he took her face in his hands and kissed her. Even as she said the words, she couldn’t help but wonder whether it would be enough. It was still so early in their relationship. She knew she had a responsibility towards her unborn child to make a life for them both. She couldn’t rely on Luca to make it all OK; she needed to take responsibility herself, to make sure they would be provided for, that they would have everything they needed without being dependent on someone else.
‘We will figure this out,’ he said. ‘I have no idea how, but we will figure this out somehow.’
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Thank you for being so supportive.’
Eventually they made their way home, grabbing a pizza margarita to share back at Luca’s flat. Libby was grateful to discover that Nicola was out, so they had the flat to themselves. They decided to keep the pregnancy a secret. There was no point in opening that particular can of worms, in fuelling the local gossip, until they knew that the pregnancy would last.
Libby carried on working, Luca carried on running the bar. He was incredibly sweet with her, checking on her frequently, giving her secret smiles and compassionate winks if she looked as if she was struggling. Her morning sickness kicked in during her last week in the form of tiredness. Thankfully there was no sign of nausea or vomiting as yet, so she was able to put on a brave face and hide her symptoms well from Floriana, Tonio and the rest of the team at La Casetta.
On her last night, Tonio cooked a huge meal for her, taking over the terrace with an open invitation to all the friends she had made in her three months in Positano to come and share the feast. Luca and his family were there, Luca firmly by her side. He barely let her out of his sight, unable to bear the thought of her leaving the next day. It was horrible knowing that they were about to be parted. Leaving Positano would have been hard enough, without having to leave her new boyfriend too. She never could have imagined that she would have met someone as wonderful as Luca. God, what a lot had happened in the past few months.
That night as they lay in bed, making love and wiping away each other’s tears, they promised that they would make the long-distance relationship work, that they would speak every day and that they would visit each other for the weekend whenever possible. ‘I love you, Libby.’ Luca kissed her for the hundredth time. ‘I am so glad you came into my life. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like being here without you. Everywhere I go I will be reminded of you.’
‘I love you too,’ Libby said. She held him close and dared to hope that everything would somehow work out for them. She had never really considered continuing their relationship once she returned to London, but now the thought of leaving and breaking up with him was impossible. She tried to imagine him fitting in with her life back in the UK. It was so hard to even picture him there. He would be so out of context; he seemed so inextricably linked with the sun and sea, with Positano. The thought of him leaving this life was impossible to imagine, but she knew she couldn’t leave everything she had worked so hard to achieve back home. A suspicion of doubt pulsed through her – how could this work? They were bound to each other for a lifetime but, without the baby, would that ever have been the case? Libby tried to force these negative thoughts from her mind.
