‘You’ll have to decide that together.’
‘Thank god Luca is coming over for it.’
‘I’m sure he’ll be just as curious as you are to see the baby,’ Miriam told her.
After they had walked back home, Libby helped her mother gather her belongings and then drove her to the Tube so that she could make her way back to Kent.
‘Bye darling,’ said Miriam. ‘Look after yourself.’
‘I will, and thanks for being so understanding.’
‘It is what it is, darling.’
‘Call me when you get home?’
‘I will.’
Libby watched her mother disappear into the underground system. She felt a big weight lift off her shoulders now that she had told her the truth. She realised she had been dreading her reaction. Whilst it had hardly been overjoyed, she hadn’t been completely furious either, so Libby couldn’t complain. There would be plenty of time for Miriam to get her head around the idea. On a roll, Libby decided to bite the bullet and call her sister. Unsurprisingly she didn’t pick up. Libby left a message asking her to call back, but she didn’t receive any calls until the following Saturday.
‘You took your time getting back to me!’ said Libby. She was sitting on the sofa with her feet up and a cold glass of iced water by her side. At week eleven her baby was the size of a Brussels sprout, though the bloating she was suffering from made it look more like the size of a small pumpkin at this precise moment.
‘Sorry, sorry! I know, I’m useless on the phone.’
‘And on email…’
‘Yup. I’ll admit it. I’m a terrible sister.’
‘How’s it going?’ asked Libby. As always it was good to hear her voice.
‘Same old, same old. Nothing much to report. You?’
‘Well as it turns out, I do have something to tell you…’ Libby bit her lip and winced as she envisaged the reaction she would get from her sister. This was going to be awful. She felt crippled with guilt as she imagined how this news would impact Helen. ‘Hels, I’m… I’m pregnant.’
There was silence down the other end of the line. Then, ‘You’rewhat?’
‘Pregnant. I know. It’s absolutely crazy—’
‘You are pregnant?? What on earth…? Oh my god! Are you going to keep it? How many weeks are you?’ Helen was never one to beat around the bush, and Libby appreciated her directness.
‘Eleven weeks… It happened by accident. Luca and I had only been together six weeks or so when I found out. We used condoms, but somehow one of them must have broken or something. And yes, I am going to keep it.’
‘I’m sorry, I cannot quite get my head around this. You’ve only just got together with Luca and now you arepregnant?’ Each word was exaggerated with disbelief.
Libby winced as she realised how this would sound to Helen, single for a year and about to turn thirty-eight. If anyone should be getting accidentally pregnant, it should have been Helen.
‘Are you happy about it?’ Helen asked.
‘Well, initially I was just unbelievably shocked. I was so upset that I had got myself into a situation like this, but I knew we had been careful. It’s not like I had unprotected sex or anything like that. It was just coming up to the end of my time in Italy, and the timing couldn’t be worse with starting my training contract. It’s hardly ideal and there have been moments when I have felt as if I’m going out of my mind worrying about the future. But Luca and I are determined to at least try and give it our best shot, and I suppose I’m coming around to the idea, slowly.’
‘Well, I guess you are lucky, in a way. So many people never get the chance. Even if it is in completely the wrong order, and you would never have chosen for it to happen this way, at least you will have a baby. I’m actually a little bit jealous,’ Helen managed a small laugh. Libby’s heart broke for her sister; she knew how hard this would be for her.
‘Look, I’m sorry, Hels. I know this must be really weird for you and that it’ll have taken you massively by surprise. I still can’t get my head around it. Of course I’d rather have had a more traditional route to having a family, like we both always wanted, but it just hasn’t worked like that for me by the looks of things…’
‘I suppose sometimes the traditional route isn’t so great after all. You have avoided all the years waiting for the perfect man to show up. You’re pregnant and you’ll deal with whatever happens next, I know you will. You could have waited around and never met anyone you wanted to father a child with… I may never… And I really do want a baby…’ She trailed off, sounding wistful and sad. Libby felt awful.
‘Perhaps you could adopt as a single mother, or use a sperm donor?’ suggested Libby. ‘There are lots of options out there for women these days.’
‘Yes, I suppose you’re right,’ said Helen.
‘Maybe when you get back?’
‘We’ll see,’ replied Helen. They talked for a while longer. It felt good to know that Helen would be by her side, and her mother. She knew just how much she would need the support of her whole family on this uncharted path.
