Chapter Sixteen
Helen had chosen a less than ideal time to come home. She had moved back in with her mother, only to be presented with John as a new member of the household. Despite having only known each other a month or so, Miriam and John were already practically joined at the hip. Miriam would come up to London for several nights of the week and John would join her in Kent for the rest, only having the occasional night apart from each other. Libby knew that for Helen this added insult to injury. Not only did Libby have a fiancé and a baby on the way, but now her mother had a boyfriend too. She knew that it must seem to Helen as though everyone in the world was coupled up and happy, except for her. Libby redoubled her efforts to include her, inviting her to any social occasions she could think of and phoning her often.
Libby’s last week of work came and went; she had decided to stop three days before her due date. Tammy and Sam had taken her out for a celebratory glass of elderflower before returning swiftly to their desks; both of their new rotations were proving hard work. Libby had never been more relieved to be leaving. It had been an exhausting time: pregnancy and being a trainee solicitor had turned out to be a less than ideal match. The last few weeks in her new seat had been especially painful. There was so much to learn, yet at the same time little incentive for her to really knuckle down and make a good start when her maternity leave was approaching so rapidly.
Libby had managed to persuade Helen to come up to London and spend the day with her the following day. After having lunch down the road at a nearby café, Libby dragged Helen back to the flat so that she could set up a couple of online dating profiles for her.
‘You really need to get back up to London.’
‘Tell me about it. As much as I love playing third wheel to Mum and John…’
‘Have you got anyone you could stay with for a while?’
‘My old roommate Joni has a space, so I’m thinking of moving back in with her.’
‘That’s perfect! When does your job start?’
‘A week on Monday.’
‘So you’ll move in next weekend?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘At least you’ll be able to afford your rent.’
‘Only just. It’s not very well paid.’
‘You’ll just have to get all your dates to take you out for dinner!’
‘I’ll try my best. I’m determined to get back out there, Libby. I mean, if Mum can do it—’
‘Exactly, of course you can.’ She showed Helen the photo that she had selected to be her profile picture. ‘What about this one?’
‘Go on then. I’m so useless at this. It’s up to you. You’re clearly an expert in attracting the opposite sex.’
‘Perhaps not in my current state!’ Libby said, gesturing to the laptop that was balancing on top of her bump. They both laughed at the sight. Soon she was clicking the submit button so that the powers-that-be could make Helen’s profile live. She started browsing through the lists of suitable candidates, Helen shrieking at some of her suggestions as she got extremely trigger-happy with the mouse. She ‘liked’ a good fifty profiles as a starting point, making Helen promise that she would message back anyone who sent her an opening gambit. Libby was full of hope that her efforts would pay off. Surely it was about time Helen’s luck changed.
‘Have you thought any more about going on antidepressants?’ Libby asked tentatively. She was wary of broaching the subject.
‘I don’t know, Libby. I hate the thought of being on some kind of pill.’
‘So many people take them. I can count handfuls of friends that do, and they’re all perfectly happy while they’re on them.’
‘I just don’t like the thought of artificially regulating my emotions. I want to experience whatever I am meant to be experiencing.’
‘But that’s the thing – when you are depressed, you aren’t experiencing what you should be. You’re only feeling the bad stuff. Antidepressants help lift your mood so that you can enjoy the good bits too.’
‘Well, when you put it like that it doesn’t sound too bad.’
‘Will you promise me that you’ll at least talk to the doctor about it?’
‘OK. I’ll make an appointment this week.’
‘Amazing. And you’ll call me straight after to let me know how it goes?’
Helen promised that she would.
True to her word, Helen called Libby later on that week. She had agreed to start a mild dose of antidepressants, as recommended by her doctor. Libby was delighted; she felt so proud of her big sister for taking such a big step forward.
