Chapter Nineteen
At the beginning of May, it was Izzy’s first birthday. Luca and Libby had organised a birthday tea to celebrate. Miriam, John, Helen and Henry were all invited, as were Angus and Jules as godparents. They were having tea and cake in the flat. Libby had been slaving away over a birthday cake decorated in pale pink icing and masterfully carved into the shape of Peppa Pig. ‘Perhaps I should enterThe Great British Bake Off? What do you think?’ she asked.
‘I think we should taste it first!’ Luca teased.
‘Oy, how dare you? It’s going to be delicious!’
‘Of course it will. I’m only joking! You are a fantastic baker. What time is everyone coming over?’ he asked, looking at his watch. He seemed a little on edge for some reason.
‘Three o’clock, hopefully.’ She wondered if he was finding it as hard to believe as she did that it had been a year since Izzy had arrived. The memories of going into labour and their brief stay in hospital weren’t far from her mind. They laid the table, and sooner or later the guests arrived bearing gifts wrapped in brightly coloured paper for the birthday girl.
‘I cannot believe she is one already,’ said Miriam, cuddling her granddaughter and planting a kiss on her rosy cheek. She was such a chubby little thing, her brown eyes like little round conkers in her angelic face as she beamed her most dazzling smile at her grandmother.
‘How time flies,’ agreed Angus. They cut the cake and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Izzy, who had no idea what was going on but seemed delighted with all the attention she was getting nonetheless. Libby and Luca opened her presents; she had been spoiled with lots of wonderful toys and some lovely new dresses.
‘What a lucky girl you are,’ Libby told her as she kissed her on the top of her head. As the others chatted, sipping their tea and eating their cake, Libby noticed that Jules was being rather quiet.
‘Everything OK?’ she asked, going over to her friend.
‘What? Oh yes, fine! Fine!’ Jules replied, a false brightness to her voice. ‘Sorry, I’m just a bit tired. I’ve been working hard on my coursework… I was up late last night.’
She had been acting a bit strangely lately, not responding to texts and calls and seeming a bit out of sorts generally. Libby had asked Angus whether everything was OK with them, and he had told her that she had been a bit distant with him.
‘That’s weird,’ Libby had said. ‘That’s exactly how I feel she’s being with me.’
‘Mmmm. I’m not sure what to do about it,’ Angus had replied. ‘I’m just giving her space. To be honest, I’m so busy working on my latest exhibition, I haven’t really been around much. I’m practically living at the studio trying to get it all done.’
Libby had been mulling this over for some time. She wondered what was going on; she knew Jules well enough to know that something was up. Perhaps she was finding the graphic design course harder than she had expected. Maybe she was regretting having left her job as an accountant.
Libby decided to arrange lunch with her the following weekend, just the two of them. After they finished eating, she decided to bite the bullet and tackle Jules’s strange behaviour head on.
‘Jules, what’s going on? You seem very quiet recently, not yourself… I’m worried about you.’
‘Nothing’s wrong,’ she said. Libby noticed that she was looking very pale.
Suddenly a thought popped out of nowhere into Libby’s mind. ‘Are you pregnant?’ she asked.
‘No!’ Jules said sharply. ‘What on earth makes you think that?’
‘You just don’t look quite right, that’s all. Are you ill?’
‘Not that I’m aware of…’ Jules tailed off.
‘You would tell me, right? You know you can talk to me about anything – anything at all? Are you struggling with the course?’
Jules took a deep breath and sighed. She was staring blankly out of the window. Libby noticed there were bags under her eyes. She clearly wasn’t sleeping well. ‘Is it you and Angus?’ she tried, taking a different approach. ‘Is everything OK between you two?’
Jules didn’t say anything, but Libby felt as though she was on the right tracks. ‘Is the baby issue becoming too much of a problem? I know how much he wants a child, and how much you don’t…’
Jules shook her head.
‘What is it?’ she asked again.
Suddenly a solitary tear rolled down Jules’s cheek. She wiped it away quickly.
‘Come on, Jules, you have to tell me.’ Libby leant across the table and took her hand.
Eventually Jules whispered, ‘I’ve done something stupid,’ so quietly that Libby could barely hear her.
