A million questions flashed through her mind. ‘Did you sleep with her here? Did you sleep with her in our bed? What the hell were youthinking?’
‘I’m sorry, Libby, it just happened…’
‘Itjust happened…’ Libby repeated. ‘You are the father of my child, you are engaged tome, or had you conveniently forgotten that?’ She wrenched the ring from her finger, suddenly desperate to get it off. Her eyes were hot with tears. She flung it at him. ‘You can take that back, you arsehole! To think that I could even have considered marrying you. You cheating, lying, conniving bastard! You haven’t changed one bit, have you?’ Her voice was dripping with disgust. ‘I can’t believe I thought you could, that I believed you.’
‘I wish I had been able to, Libby. I was sure that you were different… that this time it would be different.’ He shook his head.
‘But it wasn’t. You can’t control yourself, can you? You are so pathetic. And Jules… how she could have done this is beyond anything I can understand. Even if you were attracted to each other, how could you act on it? Where is your loyalty to me? To Angus?’ Libby collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor. Luca came over to her and she shoved him away, choking on her tears.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Luca repeated, again and again. ‘I am so, so sorry.’
‘Sorry isn’t good enough, Luca,’ she said eventually. Barely able to ask the question she whispered, ‘Do you love her?’
Luca nodded his head slowly. ‘I have feelings for her. I can’t deny it.’
‘Do you love her?’
‘I think I might – I don’t know.’
Suddenly Libby saw red; she couldn’t stand it a second longer. ‘I can’t even look at you right now. I want you to get out of my house. Get out! Getout!’ She got up to her feet and pushed him and shoved him, hitting him and lashing out, tears streaming down her face, hysterical sobs rising up her throat and choking her. She thought she might vomit. She forced Luca out of the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Sitting on the floor, she wailed a harrowing cry, screaming in agony. The noise woke Izzy who began to whimper softly in the next-door room. Blind with tears, Libby stumbled over and opened the door, picking up her daughter and cradling her against her chest, comforting her as she tried to make sense of it all.
How could Jules do this to her? To Angus? How could she possibly have done such a thing? They had grown up together. They had known each other nearly all their lives. There was no one apart from Angus who knew her better. What kind of person would sleep with her best friend’s fiancé, the father of her best friend’s child? It was unthinkable. Like something you read about in a magazine, not real life. Not Jules. Not her and Jules.
And Luca… how ironic that she had thought he had changed. She realised now that her first impressions of him had been accurate. She wanted the earth to swallow her up as she realised just how naïve she had been. She had fallen under his spell, revelling in the attention he gave her, glorying in his affection, sure that it would last forever, that he had changed his ways. The truth sounded so tragic: Luca the great womaniser, trapped in a relationship because of an accidental pregnancy, all the while desperate to escape. Had there been anyone else, she wondered? Probably.Oh my god, she thought.What an idiot I have been. What an absolute idiot.
He had never changed; it had all just been a pretence. Why the hell had he even bothered proposing? He clearly had no intention of being faithful. She remembered all too clearly how he had explained that monogamy was for fools, right back when they had first met; that it was unnatural for a man and a woman to be anything other than friends; that even if he fell head over heels in love with someone, sooner or later he would get bored and stray. She felt partly responsible. She had chosen to ignore that; chosen to ignore the alarm bells that had rung in her head. She had hoped that he would be different for her, that she could change him. How could she have been so stupid? She should have listened to her instincts; she should have taken Giulia’s advice on that very first day at La Casetta. She thought of Angus, what he would be thinking right now, and her heart went out to him. They had both been betrayed by their other halves, betrayed by their friends.
Izzy settled in Libby’s arms as her sobs turned to streams of silent tears and her breathing became more even. Izzy’s sleep-suit was wet from her tears. She kissed her peacefully sleeping face and carefully laid her back in the cot.
She went back into the sitting room. Her phone was ringing. It was Jules. Suddenly overcome by an anger so fierce she was frightened by its strength, she picked up the phone and answered the call.
‘Libby… I’m so sorry. Luca told me that you know. He had to tell you, Angus found messages on my phone from Luca and he figured it out… I knew that Angus would tell you so I called Luca. I wanted him to be the one to tell you first. I-I don’t know what to say… I’m so,sosorry.’ Jules desperately pleaded for forgiveness. Libby listened to her in silence, she sounded so pathetic. Eventually she could stomach it no longer.
‘You bitch,’ Libby said, her voice steady and ice cold. ‘Howcouldyou? You lied to my face; you had every opportunity to tell me. You slept with my fiancé, the father of my child. I will never,everforgive you. You are dead to me. I never want to see you again. Stay the hell away from me. Do not contact me again.’ She hung up the phone. This couldn’t be happening.
Suddenly her breathing came in jagged spurts as the momentousness of the evening’s events hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt as though she couldn’t get any air into her lungs. She felt choked for breath, as though she was suffocating. She ran over to the window and flung it open, taking in gulps of fresh air. She needed to stay calm but the shock was too much. She knew that from the moment she had heard those words, her life had altered its course irreversibly. She would have to rethink her entire future. Izzy would not grow up living with her father. Libby would be a single parent, and would have to go through the rest of her life without her best friend. There was no way she could even consider forgiving either of them for what they had done.
Later there was a knock at the door. Libby had fastened it with the chain. When Luca opened the door with his key, it only opened an inch. ‘Libby? Let me in. Please let me in. I have to talk to you. I have to know that you are OK.’
She didn’t reply. She just stared at the door from her position on the sofa, unable to move.
‘Libby, please. I know you are there. I have to try and explain.’
As she listened to him talk, she noticed that he never asked for her forgiveness. He didn’t tell her that he loved her and would do anything to make it up to her. He just wanted to explain, to justify his actions to her, and to himself, so that they didn’t seem so bad. He didn’t want to make her feel better, he wanted to comfort himself. She refused to say a word, sitting mutely as she let his words wash over her. He was crying now, pleading with her to let him in, to see Izzy.
Eventually, realising it was pointless, he gave up. He closed the door and walked slowly down the stairs. She had no idea where he would go. She didn’t want to know. She continued to stare at the door, utterly broken. She felt as though she might be losing her mind.
