Helena wiped away the last of her tears. ‘Can I ask a question?’ she said.
‘Of course,’ answered Rosemary. ‘Anything you like.’
Helena swallowed. ‘What… what will happen to me now?’
‘I’m so glad you asked, my love. And so is your mother.’ She paused, as if tuning into a frequency that only she could hear. ‘The spirits tell me you will find new friends in a new place. And you will meet someone wonderful; I can see him. He is dark haired, so handsome.’
Helena could hardly imagine it. It had been years since she’d been in a relationship. Every date she went on was worse than the last, the pool of men her age seemed to have shrunk to the size of a puddle.
‘I know there is hardship in your life,’ Rosemary continued, ‘but from this hardship will come joy. You will have a child. Curly haired, beautiful.’ Helena felt a tendril of hope unfurl deep within her. ‘You will move closer to nature. Yes, interesting - there will be big changes soon. No more city. A new home. A new purpose.’
As the session drew to an end, Helena felt clean and whole, as if she was a broken jug that had been scrubbed out and piecedback together again. She thanked Rosemary for the priceless gift of peace of mind, which was more valuable than anything else.
As she lay in bed that night, waiting for sleep to come, she thought about the curly haired child Rosemary had seen in her future. For the first time in a long time, Helena began to feel less alone.
1
SHE HEARD HISsmall footsteps padding across the bedroom floor before she felt the touch of his fingers as he gently brushed the hair from her forehead.
‘Wakey wakey,’ he whispered, leaning across to plant a kiss on her cheek before racing off excitedly, disappearing back through the door.
The sound of china and crockery rattling precariously against a tray made her turn, just as Raffy stepped into the room. The pride emblazoned across his face was heart-melting. Suddenly shy, he grinned as he brought the tray over.
‘You brought me breakfast in bed?’ She took the tray and placed it on the duvet beside her, scooping Raffy up and giving him a hug as he collapsed into a fit of sheepish giggles.
‘Happy birthday!’ he said. ‘I did it myself.’ This much was obvious: there was no one in the house but them.
Helena felt her heart swell as she scooted over in the bed, letting Raffy snuggle up next to her.
‘I can’t believe it! What have we got here?’ She surveyed her spoils. There was half a jug of cold milk, the rest having spilled during the journey upstairs. There were two bowls of cornflakes and two spoons.
‘I didn’t make you a cup of tea, because I’m not allowed.’ Raffy smiled. ‘Is it a good surprise?’ he asked. His deep blue eyes, with their unusual flecks of gold, searched for approval, a frown creasing his pale forehead.
‘The very best. Thank you.’ Helena lent over and kissed him, laughing as she ruffled the mound of springy brown curls that layin their usual unruly mop on the top of his head. She was touched at his thoughtfulness, picturing him waking early and tiptoeing down the stairs, standing on a chair to reach the cupboards. ‘This is the most wonderful birthday present I could have possibly asked for!’
*
‘Right, little rascal, let’s get you ready for school,’ she said when they’d finished their breakfast, jumping out of bed to chase Raffy along the landing and into his room. She rummaged in the white chest of drawers, adorned with peelingToy Storystickers, for a clean pair of pants and socks. She passed them over to Raffy who was bouncing excitedly on the bed. ‘Take your pyjamas off.’
‘Can I wear my Buzz costume?’ he begged.
‘When you get home from school.’
‘Okay,’ Raffy sighed. If he had his way he would wear it every second of every day, he was completely obsessed, his room a homage to Woody, Buzz and their friends.
Helena pulled her hair into a ponytail, got dressed and brushed her teeth, making sure Raffy had done his properly too. She got his packed lunch ready and, when she was sure he had everything he needed for the day, she drove him down the road to school.
Trying not to feel self-conscious as she wove her way through the gaggles of mums chatting in their usual groups in the playground, she called ‘Love you!’ as Raffy scampered into the school. She didn’t know how everyone had managed to make friends except for her. Raffy turned and beamed a gap-toothed smile, looking endearingly dishevelled, as always, with his shirt collar sticking bolt upright, one sock up and the other already down by his ankle. ‘To infinity and beyond…!’ he cried his usual response as he scurried off to his classroom.
*
A little over seven hours later Buzz Lightyear bounded down the stairs with the enthusiasm of a Labrador puppy. ‘Ready!’ Hebeamed as he raced over to the backdoor and jumped on his bike. He zoomed down the sloping garden, using his feet as brakes, making silvery tracks through the grass.
‘Wait for me!’ Helena called. She raced after Raffy, catching up with him at the bottom of the garden by the enormous rhododendron bush, an exploded firework of scarlet trumpets. It was one of the few plants she had inherited in the garden that she had managed to keep alive. Helena, despite her best intentions, was the opposite of green fingered. She opened the rickety gate and helped Raffy steer out onto the track that led to the road. She laughed as he pedalled along.
The air was warm and humid. Helena could feel its dampness as the air condensed against her skin. A canopy of heavy grey clouds hung impossibly low in the sky. ‘I think it might rain,’ she warned. ‘We might have to make a run for it any minute…’
They entered the public meadow that lay hidden to one side of the village green. It was Raffy and Helena’s favourite spot; they came most days after school to play on the playground that lay tucked away in the corner. The grass was carpeted with a layer of velvet petals that had fallen from trees heavy with white blossom. A sprinkle of dandelion seeds sailed through the air like miniature parachutes.
