‘How amazing! Well of course, I’ll be happy to help out,’ Helena laughed, suppressing a pang at the thought of how thrilled Raffy would have been at the prospect.
‘And seeing as we’re sharing news, it looks like my offer has been accepted on the Old Rectory,’ Johnny said.
‘No!’ Helena gasped, looking straight to Margery for her reaction. She knew how much this would upset her.
‘He broke it to me this afternoon,’ Margery said, trying to put on a brave face. ‘At least I’ll still have you, dear,’ Margery smiled at Helena.
She knew it had gone to sealed bids for best and final offers –there had been two other interested parties. ‘That’s amazing news,’ Helena said, and she meant it. The beautiful house, with the climbing rose around the door and the wild overgrown garden, would suit him perfectly.
‘Thanks. There’s still a lot of hurdles to jump before completion. I’ll need to get a survey done for starters.’
‘When will you move if all goes to plan?’ Helena asked.
‘I should be in just after Christmas. The house is empty and the owners need a quick sale.’
Helena felt absurdly close to tears at the thought of Johnny moving out. It was very squashed with the three of them, especially sharing the one bathroom upstairs, and she would love to get off the tiny futon and into a proper bed, but she was already so used to having them both.
Later, having sent an exhausted looking Margery off to bed, Johnny and Helena washed up the dishes to the melodic sound of Nina Simone. Helena decided to ask Johnny about his ex-girlfriend and their break-up in Hong Kong. She was intrigued to find out more about her and the circumstances that had led him back to England, and realised now that they wouldn’t be sharing a house for much longer that she may run out of opportunities to find out.
‘What was she like?’ Helena asked. ‘Naomi?’ She noticed a shadow cross his face at the mention of her name.
Johnny paused, taking a dish from Helena as she rinsed the suds off under the tap. She knew he had been badly hurt, but she didn’t know why. Margery had told her that the breakup had been sudden, and that Johnny had been heartbroken, but that was all she knew.
‘She was a whirlwind. She was funny, and beautiful. Everyone always loved her, wherever we went.’ She could see he was lost in thought, travelling to another time and place in his memory. She wished she could see what he saw. He placed the dish carefully on the counter. ‘She had a voracious appetite for life, an insatiable curiosity for the world around her. She was always after the next adventure, the next new thing. I sometimes felt like I couldn’t keepup. That I was never quite enough for her.’ His voice was quiet. Helena wanted to leave the dishes and put her arms around him, she felt like he needed a hug. But she wasn’t sure she should, so she gave him a sympathetic smile instead.
‘I know how that feels,’ she said.
‘Yes. Not the best.’ Johnny smiled back, the emotions seemed to be swelling under the surface, like a bubble about to burst.
She knew she should probably leave it but before she could stop herself she had blurted out, ‘Why did you break up?’
He hung the tea towel over the side of the Aga to dry.
‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘It’s none of my business.’
‘No, it’s okay,’ he swallowed. ‘She left me for her ex-boyfriend. They’re still together now.’
‘No!’ Helena gasped.
‘Sadly yes,’ Johnny sighed. He turned to look at her and she could hardly cope with the vulnerability in his eyes. He was so kind, such a genuine and decent man, she couldn’t imagine anyone lucky enough to have him wanting to leave him.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.
‘Thank you. It was incredibly hard. Still is, sometimes, even all these years later.’
‘Are you still in touch?’
‘No. She wanted to be, but I could never have managed it. I needed a clean break. It’s funny though, I always suspected she wasn’t over him. No matter how many times I asked her, how many times she told me to trust her, I just knew on some deeper level that she still loved him. When I found out I just felt like such an idiot.’
‘We are a right pair,’ Helena said. ‘Aren’t we?’
Johnny laughed, and her heart shifted gear at the change in his expression. She realised she cared deeply what he thought, and that making him smile or laugh had become one of her favourite moments of any day. She was really going to miss him when he was gone. She was so grateful that he had come into her life at the moment that he had. He was the antithesis of Noah. Shefelt like her mother had planted him in her vicinity to remind her that men were not all self-centred egomaniacs; that they could be loving, normal and grounded. Just like her own father had been.
‘I’m sorry that happened to you,’ she said.
Johnny stepped closer to her and brushed his thumb softly against her cheek. She felt her heart rate quicken at his touch, small electrical impulses flickered within her. Noticing her confused expression he paused and cleared his throat. ‘Washing up bubbles,’ he said, not looking her in the eye. He changed the subject. ‘I’m sorry about what happened to you, too, Helena. You didn’t deserve any of that. I know how much you miss Raffy. Children make break-ups a million times worse.’
The candle in the middle of the table had almost burned down to the bottom, dribbles of wax draped over the edge of the blue glass candlestick, trickling down towards the tabletop. The flame flickered gently, casting a golden glow over the dimly lit room.
