He took it gratefully, ‘As much as I hate technology – I couldn’t live without the bloody thing!’ He chuckled, and she thought notfor the first time how much she liked him. She knew her mother would have loved him too.
‘Thanks again for this evening,’ she smiled, slinging her bag over her shoulder and following him to the door.
‘It was fun,’ he said, holding it open for her.
They stepped out into the warm evening, filled with the smell of lavender from the plants on either side of the door. She paused as she turned her key in the lock. ‘Malcolm?’ she asked.
He turned back to face her. ‘Yes?’
‘Do you believe it? That your fate is written in the stars?’
‘I don’t believe it. I know it. Why do you ask?’
‘A psychic once told me I would meet a man, have a curly haired child. And I did, it was Raffy… and Noah. I just wondered… was that my lot, I suppose… or whether there might be more to come?’
He walked over to her and took her hand in his. He looked at her pensively, scanning her eyes as if reading a hidden text inscribed within. She held her breath, suddenly unsure if she wanted the answer.
Then his face cracked into a broad smile, as if a sun beam had just shot through a gap in the clouds. ‘Oh my dear, your journey in love has barely begun.’
*
Helena smiled to herself as she walked home through the village, watching a flock of birds soar in perfect synchronicity above her in the twilight. She hoped Malcolm was right. She replayed the art class in her mind, already planning the next workshop, chuckling at Willow’s philosophical approach to teaching. She wondered how much her students got out of her lessons.
Margery had been invited over to Derek’s for dinner after the class. He was trying out the fajita recipe he had been taught at Helena’s cookery class the previous Wednesday afternoon. It was the third recipe he had learned in what had proved to be one of the Community Café’s most popular workshops to date. AsHelena had suspected, Margery had started to refer to Derek as her boyfriend, which made Helena practically burst with happiness. To see the new-found lease of life in them both, the companionship they were able to offer each other, it was so wonderful. Two lonely souls had been brought together, thanks to the Community Café. If it achieved nothing more, that alone would have been reward enough for Helena.
Having eaten some leftovers, Helena sat in the garden, enjoying a glass of wine. It was nine o’clock. She gazed up at the stars, twinkling valiantly against their velvet black backdrop. She remembered camping with her father as a child, lying out on the grass and looking up at the night sky. He had told her that in ancient times they believed the souls of the bravest warriors left their mark, piercing the celestial canopy as their souls entered the afterlife, leaving a hole for the bright light of heaven to shine through to the earth below. She tried to expand her mind, to imagine all the galaxies and multiverses that lay out of sight. It was beyond comprehension. It never ceased to amaze her, the sheer vastness of it all. Perhaps her mother had been right, with our limited human perception we could only hope to understand the smallest fraction of the reality we found ourselves in.
Her phone beeped, dragging her awareness back down to earth.
Helena, sorry to disturb you. Would you be able to come over? It’s Raffy. I’m worried about him. He’s not well. I need your help… N x
As she read the words Helena’s heart jumped into her throat. What could have happened? One thing was for sure, it must be bad for Noah to reach out like this. He hadn’t asked her for anything in all the time since he had been back. Perhaps he had one of those insanely high temperatures again? He often used to get them, dangerously high, they would come on suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere. When he was little, he had sometimes sufferedfrom fits, terrifyingly violent episodes of shaking and convulsions, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Flushed with adrenaline, without stopping to think, she typed her reply:
On my way.
39
SHE CALLED THEdogs inside, locked the back door and grabbed her keys. She slammed the front door behind her, locking up before starting to run through the village towards Lavender Cottage. Breathless, she turned up the road towards the cottage, flinging open the gate and racing up to the front door. She rapped on the door, tense with anticipation as to what she might find inside. She half expected Noah to open it with Raffy in his arms, floppy and unresponsive.
She was certainly not expecting what happened next. There was no answer so she pushed open the door.
It was dark inside, save for the flickering lights of what appeared to be hundreds of candles. Every surface was covered with glowing nightlights, lighting a pathway through the hallway and out into the garden beyond. Her mind whirled as she tried to process what she was seeing. Clearly, Noah had got her there under false pretences. There was nothing wrong with Raffy. He must have used the text as a ploy, knowing she wouldn’t have come in any other circumstance. Unable to resist her curiosity, she followed the pathway of candlelight. Noah was standing on the patio, which was also covered in candles. He was holding an enormous bunch of red roses; a bottle of champagne rested in an ice bucket on the table beside him next to two sparkling flutes. Crackling jazz could be heard playing through the open window as Noah smiled, before presenting her with the bouquet. Helena was dumbfounded. She couldn’t think of a single word to say. The reprimand for scaring her unnecessarily, for lying about Raffy, seemed stuck in her throat.
‘Don’t say anything, please,’ he silenced her, taking a steptowards her. She opened her mouth to talk but nothing came out. ‘Helena, I’m sorry about the text. I couldn’t figure out another way to get you here, in private.’
She blinked. She knew she should turn on her heel and run but she appeared to be frozen to the spot. ‘I have something I need to ask you,’ he continued.
As if in slow motion, he got down on one knee.
‘Noah—’ she said, suddenly realising what was happening. Her heart rate quickened.
‘Please, don’t say anything,’ he repeated. ‘Just hear me out.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Helena, I love you. I have loved you since the moment we met. I know that I fucked everything up when I left. I know that I let you down more than words can describe, and for that I am truly sorry. But I’d like to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I want us to be a proper family again. You, me and Raffy. To have a fresh start. Let’s make this work between us, once and for all.’ He held out a small velvet box. Releasing the clasp it sprang open to reveal a proper engagement ring. Not a simple gold band like he had given her before and which now lay at the bottom of the pond, but a sparkling sapphire and diamond ring. ‘Helena Beale, will you marry me?’
Helena’s head span. She had absolutely no idea what to say. She felt as if she must be dreaming, the scene she had pictured for so many years had just played out before her very eyes. Noah had finally offered her everything she had dreamed of: marriage, to officially be Raffy’s mum.
‘I… I…’ She stammered, mentally shaking herself, trying to get a grip, to at least formulate some kind of coherent response. Noah was standing again now, taking the ring and pushing it on to the fourth finger of her left hand. She couldn’t help but stare at it, there on her finger, so breathtakingly beautiful. He pulled her towards him, lowering his face towards hers. She knew he was about to kiss her. Part of her wanted to melt into his arms, to embrace the fairy-tale ending she had dreamed of for so long. But this wasn’t happening a year ago, when she would have been desperate for nothing more. This was now. Things were different. Irreversibly, irreparably different. Or were they? As his lips grazed hers, she suddenly wasn’t so sure. Could it be as she’d always hoped? Was it such a bad idea? Had he really changed? His lips were soft, familiar, and for a moment she melted into him, ready to kiss him back. But then she heard Nathalie’s voice ringing in her ears; it was all too easy to say the words, but they were, after all, only words. Barely had the thought formed in her mind before she found herself pushing him away. She just couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right.
‘Noah. Stop. Please,’ she said, struggling out of his grip and staggering backwards.
