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I figured either way, I came out winning, nutter or no. I still got to stare across the table at her over dinner.
9
“What do you like best about being a captain in the Special Forces? You don’t talk much about it.”
“We’re not supposed to talk about it, darlin’.”
Her face fell and her lips made an adorable pout that made me want to do things to them that required a locking door.
“Well, what can you tell me? I need to know something about what you do over there in Afghanistan.”
I shrugged over my plate of perfectly cooked venison and gave her the most honest answer I could. “It’s just work that’s been a good opportunity for someone like me I suppose. Hard work and very dreadful at times. Lonely. Harsh. Dry. Fucked up.” I looked up from my dinner into her caring eyes, and for the first time ever, wished I wasn’t a soldier.
“Sounds wonderful,” she said sarcastically. “How much do I need to worry about you coming back to me safely, Neil?”
I covered her hand with mine. “I’m coming back in ten months and when I do it’ll be for good. That’ll make a six-year haul for me, and it’s plenty, believe me. I want to do something else with my life, and I promise this is my last tour, Elaina.”
“Thank God.” Her voice was relieved but the concern still showed in her face.
“It feels nice to have you worrying about me, though.”
“I’ve always worried about you, I just wasn’t privy to what was going on before. Now, it’s different. Now, I’m bloody terrified that something bad will take you from me, that I’ll lose you—that we’ll never have our…time together.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not accepting that. I’m going over there and I’ll do my job, and when my time’s up I’m coming home to you. That’s a promise I’m going to keep.” I picked up her hand and held it against my mouth. “I love this hand so much.”
Her eyes grew watery when I said the last part.
“I love the man holding my hand. So much,” she whispered with teary eyes, “and I want him to come back to me in one piece.”
I knew it was time. Time for us to be close and put away all the doubts we’d both carried around for far too long. Time for us to learn what we had to lose by not being together, and making us both see how we couldn’t live without it for another second.
“Look into my eyes when I tell you that I’m coming back. I will. I’ll be gettin’ off a plane and scanning the crowd for my Cherry Girl to come running up to me, where I can pick her up and hold her very close, and know we’ll never have to be separated again.”
She nodded imperceptibly, her eyes still glassy and beautifully blue in the candlelight across from me. “Promise?”
“With everything I’ve got in me.”
I saw her visibly soften in her seat, the tension lessening some, and wished we were alone and not in a room with others. It’s time to take her upstairs and love her completely.
I whispered so only she could hear. “I need to be with you now, and we can make all these worries and fears about all the bad things that frighten us, just disappear,” I spoke with my lips up against her hand and my eyes on hers. “We can make it all go away for tonight.”
“Yes, please.” A single tear slipped down her smooth cheek as she nodded her agreement at
me from across the table.
I got my answer and it was all I needed.
We held hands all the way up to the room, passing by museum-worthy portraits, which were at least eight feet tall, mounted on the stairwell, and artwork of amazing forms and variety. I couldn’t really take in what was around me though. I only cared about the girl beside me.
Once the stairs were behind us, I swooped her up and carried her the rest of the way. I wanted her weight in my arms. I wanted to carry her to the place where we would be together.
“You’re going to hurt your back by hefting me around.”
“Not a chance of that happening, beautiful girl. You’re a feather. My arms love the feel of carrying you, so I think you’d better get used to it.”
My Cherry blushed for me, looking shy and mouth-watering just by being her sweet self. “Put your arms around my neck,” I said.
She complied with my request, her small hands sliding up around me to hold on firmly. It felt like heaven. I dropped a kiss on her while holding her up, somehow managing to get the door open and thankful for old fashioned doorknobs that weren’t locked from the outside. I didn’t want to let go of her mouth as I fumbled with doors and locks to get us situated inside, and finally into some privacy. I needed the connection. I felt a growing desperation to complete us, like, if I waited another day it would be too late to claim her as mine, that somehow she would be lost to me.
