Anna hopes the service is speedy. Not only is she keen for this night to be over, so she doesn’t have to endure any more of John, but she is also tired. She doesn’t know how Bella is still going, as judging by the joy on James’s face, they aren’t getting a full night’s sleep.
“So, John, what have you been doing while we’ve been at the conference?” James asks.
John’s chest visibly swells. “Today I checked out the surf at Venice Beach. You should have seen me. There was this twelve-footer. All the guys were getting wiped out, but I rode that baby like a beaut.”
Anna watches John demonstrate his prowess with his arms. She jerks back in time to avoid a slap in the face. She wonders how much of his story is true.
“There was this girl. She was fit, real fit,” John continues. “She saw my technique and begged me to teach her, but I told her I was meeting up with you lot.”
Bella beams at her brother. “John’s great at sport,” she announces to the table.
Anna sincerely doubts John is great at anything except bragging.
“So, is that where you’re going tomorrow?” James asks.
“Nah.” John leans back and drops his hand to the back of Anna’s chair. “I thought I’d hire a motorbike and take in the coast road down to Mexico.”
Anna leans forwards. “Isn’t the bit from Monterey to Malibu supposed to be the best part of the Pacific Coastal Highway?”
“That’s a great idea!” Bella ignores Anna and applauds her brother. The food arrives, and for a few minutes, everyone is busy sorting out dishes. Anna is relieved to see John needs both hands to tackle his meal and her chair back is released from his captivity.
“I hired a scooter in Corsica once and did the Cap Corse road. Stunning,” James says as the server departs.
John scoffs. “You wouldn’t catch me dead on a scooter! No, I ride a proper hog. It’s a Harley for me. I’m used to real power between my legs.”
Anna feels like vomiting into her soda. James flushes and doesn’t reply.
Bella finally seems to notice something awry and changes the subject. “That looks so good, James. What a great choice! Can I try some?”
James looks pleased and pushes his plate over to her.
“What have you got?” John asks Anna as he eyes her food. Before she understands what is happening, his fork spears the biggest chunk of beef on her plate and he’s eaten it. She stares at him in disbelief.
“Try that again and I’ll stab you with my fork.” She laughs to take the edge off as she says it, but hopes the meaning is clear.
“No need. Mine is better,” says John. “In fact, I think mine is the best. I always know what to order in restaurants.”
“He does too,” Bella says earnestly. “He always gets the best stuff. But yours is great too.” She turns to James and offers him a wide smile.
The night doesn’t improve. For every story or anecdote, John always has one larger, faster, better. Anna hasn’t heard so much boasting since she was in primary school.My dad’s car is bigger than your dad’s car. Bella seems immune, probably from overexposure in her youth. James is clearly uncomfortable but unwilling to slap John down because of his infatuation with Bella.
At the first opportunity, Anna suggests they get a ride share back to the hotel. She is relieved when a yawning James supports her suggestion. But her misery is compounded by the seating. James, who was busy settling the bill, is the last to thecar, leaving Anna squashed up to John in the back and James riding shotgun. Her tolerance level for John’s obnoxiousness has been far exceeded, so when he drops his sweaty palm on her bare knee, she knocks it off, taking care to catch the bones of his wrist with the hard corner of her phone. If she had been wearing stilettos, she might have emphasised the point, but her jewelled leather flip-flops are incapable of doing any damage.
John howls and clutches his wrist. Everyone stares at Anna, but her inner bitch is in the ascendant. She will not be cowed by glares. “Keep your hands off me!” She controls her voice, the volume clear enough to be heard but far from shouting. She is calm, yet her anger is obvious to all. John subsides and the rest of the journey is made in silence. When they arrive at the hotel, Anna ignores John’s outstretched hand, waiting to help her out of the car, and clambers out of the other side instead. She tells a bemused James, “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She doesn’t wait for anyone as she strides across to the bank of elevators. The others mill around the entrance, probably talking about her behaviour, and when the elevator doors shut, she feels at peace for the first time all evening. John, James, Brad, Tolly. She is done with men. They can all take a hike.
A Streetcar Named Desire
Once again, Anna sleeps poorly. Having spent the entirety of her life as an easy sleeper, she struggles to come to terms with this change. She has always been one of those whose head hits the pillow and is asleep in minutes. Despite witnessing intense trauma as a medic through the pandemic, she has still benefited from deep, untroubled sleep.
It can’t just be jetlag. She has crossed the world often enough, heading both east and west. There is always a short period of adaptation, but a single day cycle has always been sufficient to reset her body clock before. Lying in the comfortable hotel bed, she tries to figure out why she is so discombobulated.
This reflection, also, is new to her. Anna has never fancied herself a deep character, full of layers. If she is hungry, she eats. If she is sad, she cries. If she is horny, she has sex. She has no hidden insecurities. She is beautiful, she is clever, and she is loved. And she knows all of these things. She is confident in herself and her abilities. When she has failed to win a race or save a patient, she is certain she has performed to the best of her considerable abilities. She understands that others sometimes struggle with self-doubt, and she could point to her colleagues and identify those who are thus afflicted, but she has never experienced it herself.
She has no fanciful fears. She is not afraid of the dark or monsters under the bed. She dislikes rats and snakes but figures this is entirely justified. Rats carry disease and snakesare dangerous. There is nothing neurotic about her dislike. It is reasonable and sensible.
In short, Anna is the most well-adjusted person she knows. Even in her family, she can identify each person’s weakness. Her father was plainly scarred by having a cold and unloving mother. Her mother is a poor judge of character, overly swayed by good looks. It is a miracle they ended up together. Eleanor worries about her epilepsy and her fitness to inherit the Larkford Estate. Jasmine, the typical middle child, has always struggled for attention. She feels herself the black sheep of the family, but in truth, that position belongs to Phoebe, and Phoebe knows it. So Phoebe exerts her dominance over her twin, Lily. And Lily allows it because she is too scared to live a life without her twin.
