She shrugs. “He’s a man of means. If not the office, I’m sure there’s a nearby hotel you can use for an urgent meeting.” She drops air quotes around the last two words.
She makes perfect sense, so why am I still reluctant? “I don’t know,” I moan. “What if it all goes wrong? What if I end up with a broken heart again? What if Effie ends up with a broken heart?”
“Oh, honey,” she reaches across the table to hold my hand. “That’s all or nothing thinking. What makes you think the stakes have to be so big?”
“Aren’t they?”
“Contrary to Hollywood, most relationships end because there’s no longer an emotional connection. Things fizzle out. Both sides walk away with nothing more than slightly dented egos. And for once, you have all the power.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s already put his cards on the desk. He asked you to marry him. He’s not going to do what Mike did. Hewantscommitment. So, you get control.Youget to decide fast or slow. You can back up or walk awayat any pointif it’s not working for you.”
I’m silent, considering her words.
“Think about it,” she says. “From a practical point of view, if you ended things, he couldn’t fire you without gross misconduct on your part, which is never going to happen. The law protects you. Your job is safe no matter what.”
And I do think about it. Ginny’s problem was Piotr held all the power. He was the boss, and he was less invested in the relationship. That doesn’t apply here. “Anders could still make my life difficult,” I point out.
“Do you think he would? You turned down his proposal, and he’s not been mean to you.”
I draw a breath. “No.” Anders isn’t mean or resentful. I’ve seen people cross him and he’s never sought revenge. His attitude is to leave them in his dust. The better he does, the more insignificant they become. In fact, I could do with learningfrom him. For too long I’ve been hobbled by Mike and what he did. Maybe it is time to leave it behind me. To override those subconscious fears with a conscious decision to move on.
“Thank you.” I lean forward and give Dana a hug.
But Dana has no intention of letting me off. “So, what are you going to do?”
“No idea. But it’s probably time to rescue the kids before their brains turn to jelly and take them to the park.” Dana is stricter about screen time than I am.
“Nope,” Dana waggles a finger at me. “Not so fast. We aren’t leaving here until you’ve made a concrete plan. I know you. You’ll be too busy, or decide he’s too busy, or Effie’s too …” she hesitates, searching for a suitable adjective but ends up settling on, “Effie.”
“No, I won’t.” I protest, knowing full well I had absolutely intended to do nothing. Doing nothing is a much-underrated strategy for dealing with shit. It’s remarkable how many things resolve without interference.
Dana’s face takes on a familiar cast; one I know all too well. It usually means Max is in trouble, but today it’s angled at me. “Fiona said…”
I groan. Dana was much more malleable before she took up with her girlfriend.
Dana starts again. “Fiona said it’s not fair that we have a childfree night and you don’t.”
“I do it as a thank you for everything you do for me. Fairness doesn’t come into it.”
“Nevertheless, we think that when Effie comes on Friday, she should have a sleepover by herself. Which meansyouare free to go on a date on Friday evening. A date that can last all night.”
I ignore the subtext. “What if I don’t want to go on a date?”
“Then you can go to the cinema or the theatre or get a massage or even just sit and read a book. And by book, I mean a novel,nothing about reptiles. But this Friday, this Friday you’re going on a date. You are going to ask Anders out.”
“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I’m not doing that.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’ll get the wrong idea.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. I think he’ll get precisely the right idea.” Dana gives me a wink. “I’ve never met the man, but from what you tell me, he’s not slow on the uptake. I reckon you’ll be singing the Hallelujah Chorus well before midnight. And maybe again at dawn.”
I never told Dana about Anders’s three orgasms comment and I don’t do so now. I wouldn’t want her to feel her sex life was inadequate. If she is happy with two orgasms a night, so be it.
I’ve been quiet too long, and she’s mistaking my silence for consideration of her suggestion.
