Just one day back on the wrong side of the pond, and Anders’s accent is more pronounced. It takes me a moment to work out he isn’t saying ‘horniness’, which would be downright weird for any son to say about his dad, but ‘orneriness’. At least, I hope that’s what he said. I can do without the mental image of Anders Anderson II trying to get it on with Sonia on a hospital bed.
Anders yawns, then apologises. “Sorry. It’s not you. I’ve been up since dawn.”
“Milking?” I’m not entirely sure what happens on a dairy farm. I’ve a confusion of images in my head, mostly from TV series about cowboys, but they’re probably not accurate.
“Among other things.”
“How did they manage yesterday?”
“One of the neighbours pitched in. And my sister helped. But she’s gone home now – she’s got kids. And let’s face it, she lives closer to them than I do. She’s going to be trekking over here to look after them when I leave. If I can leave.”
His words inspire panic. If he stays there, what happens to us? What happens to Cerium? What happens to me? Long term, an assistant with a five-hour time difference isn’t going to work. But Anders has enough on his plate. He shouldn’t have to carry my worries too.
I smile at him. “Maybe you should take a nap. Between the jet lag and the early starts, you must be exhausted.”
“No time. We’re going to grab a bite on our way over to the hospital.”
I assume ‘we’is him and his mum but then I hear two female voices in the background. I thought he said his sister had gone? But then, one of them must step into the room with him because I hear her clearly as she says, “We need to leave now if we want to get to the Piggly Wiggly before it shuts.”
Anders glances up and then back down at me. “Got to go,” he says, and the call ends.
And I’m left sitting up in my bed wondering what just happened. Because I recognise the voice. The woman who felt free enough to walk into Anders’s room without knocking was his ex-girlfriend, Imogen.
Extinction Level Event
Imogen? What on earth is Imogen doing in the States, let alone in Anders’s bedroom? And what does that mean for me? And Anders’s words, what did he mean by ‘if I can’? Is he considering staying in the States?
Truly, it’s never a good idea to get bad news late at night. Even though my sensible head tells me to let it all go, my mind can’t help worrying that I should never have got involved with Anders. Ginny’s experience was right there, front and centre, warning me. But still, I ignored it and have only myself to blame.
I knew the dangers of dating the boss. I knew the dangers of dating a man not long out of a relationship. I knew the dangers of… everything, really. A therapist would have a field day. Temptation is indeed the devil’s playground. I threw it all away for three orgasms. No sex is worth that.
There’s something about the midnight hours, how your mind spins and magnifies issues into monsters. I lie in my own bed,unable to sleep, and soon I’ve not only imagined the worst, but I’ve convinced myself it absolutely will come true.
Anders will start a new company, Cerium USA. He will stay in Wisconsin and reconnect with his leggy, blonde bombshell girlfriend. He will get his family. In my mind, his mom gazes on fondly as a host of perfect little blonde kiddies run around their barn. Anders stands beside his dad, holding a babe while grandpa shares wise sayings like a man can never be truly happy unless he’s home.
By the end, Anders has replaced me in his work, in his home, and in his life.
It’s late – or rather, early – when I fall asleep, and I don’t sleep well. My dreams fade as I wake, but glimpses remain of barns and cows, and doors that open into the same room, with no escape.
I’m brain-dead in the morning, cutting Effie’s toast the wrong way, putting the dirty laundry in the tumble dryer, pouring juice into my coffee instead of milk. Mid-morning, I discover I’ve got my shirt on inside out. I promise myself a nap when Effie is out with her dad, but the time for Mike’s arrival comes and passes, and there’s no sign of him. He isn’t responding to any of my messages.
I watch as Effie reaches the slow realisation that her father isn’t coming. Although it doesn’t show on her face, I know she’s devastated. She’s sliding her thumb up and down her finger, again and again, comforting herself.
She gets up from the train track she’s been building. It covers the entirety of my floor, but she keeps ripping up bits and changing them, as if it’s not perfect. But if it’s finished, she has to address her disappointment.
She stands directly in front of where I’m sitting, pretending to read. “If Daddy is not coming, maybe Anders can come and play?” she asks.
I look up. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” I say, “but Anders isn’t here. His daddy is very ill, so he’s gone back to America to see him.”
“Does his daddy have a tummy bug?” Effie’s memories of being sick are fresh. She cannot conceive of anything worse.
“It’s not his tummy that’s sick.” I lightly tap hers, then move up to her chest and tap that. “It’s his heart. It isn’t working properly, and it’s making him very poorly. He has to stay in bed. So Anders has gone to help his mummy and to look after their farm.”And fall in love with his ex, but I keep that part in my head.
“I would like to live on a farm,” Effie says. “I’d have a pet pig. She could come with me to school.” Interesting that the pig supersedes a puppy.
“They don’t let pets in schools. Could you imagine all those dogs and cats, hamsters and guinea pigs, in one place?”
“And bearded dragons?”
