“Okay, she ain’t been feeling goo-”
“Nah nigga, let me finish. She was finna need the rest after the abortion she was gettin’ this afternoon.”
My heart stopped and all I could see was fucking red. Solana wanted to see the worst in me then so fucking be it.
Solana Thomas
Guilt was a mutha, it had me acting like a complete bitch. I couldn’t even look Marlo in the eyes. I hated to be another person hiding stuff from him, but I had to. He’d been so up and down in his moods I didn’t know how he was going to react tofinding out I was pregnant. I’d rather get the abortion than get hurt getting my hopes up. He already told me he didn’t want to be with me. A baby wouldn’t change that, if anything he’d probably think I was trying to force him to be with me. Which was the furthest thing from the truth. If I ever had more kids I wanted it to be with someone who I was with and we both were happy about the baby. My situation with Marlo is messy and everything he was dealing with I doubted he wanted to add another kid into. Ever since Fallon claimed Mallory might not be his daughter Marlo had been extra pissy and I understood but all I was trying to do was be there for him. Him being an asshole to me wasn’t necessary. All he had to do was tell me he needed space and I would gladly have given it to him. To keep the peace and not make whatever Marlo and I had going on less chaotic, I couldn’t have this baby.
When I thought it in my head it seemed easy, cut, and dry. I didn’t think about how I would feel seeing the baby in my stomach on the screen. No, I didn’t hear the heartbeat, but I knew what I was seeing when the nurse did an ultrasound to see how far along I am. Just shy of ten weeks, I had the option of taking the pill or getting surgical abortion using suction. Both sounded horrible and my chest tightened thinking about me really killing my baby. I had been sitting in this dull room that was beginning to feel like a prison, contemplating my choices. I didn’t know what to do. Was I even making the right decision? I couldn’t believe I was really going through this at my big grown age because I knew better. I was so caught up in finally having Marlo I didn’t care about what would come from him nutting inside of me every day. I had nobody to blame but myself.
A knock at the door, then seeing it slowly open, I figured it was the nurse coming to see if I had my decision. I could have died, as I watched in fear as Marlo made his way into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t say a word to me. Hedidn’t need to, his face told it all. He was pissed, no enraged was a better word. His eyes were bloodshot red, like he’d been crying. They were narrowed into razor sharp slits; he calmly made his way over to the rolling chair the nurse had just sat on not too long ago. He sat on the chair rolling it in front of me, and he stared at me menacingly. I started crying, I was scared out of my mind. Marlo was looking at me like I was his enemy. I didn’t know what to say to him right now. If there was anything I could say.
“Don’t cry now, ya big bad ass made this decision on ya own. Stand behind it.” Marlo spoke in a cold detached tone.
“We don’t need a baby right now,” I meekly whimpered.
“How the fuck you gon’ tell me what I fuckin’ need right now?!” Marlo exploded, his voice thundering through the room making me tremble in fear.
“Marlo, please,” I cried, sniffling.
“Is everything okay in here?” A nurse came into the room with concern on her face.
Marlo kissed his teeth grilling me before turning his angry glare onto the nurse. “Nah, we good. We finna leave.”
The nurse returned Marlo’s evil look, not backing down from him. Then she turned towards me with a nurturing expression she said, “Ma’am, you don’t have to be intimidated by him. If this is whatyouwant to do. I can have him escorted out here.”
“Bi-” Marlo snarled at the nurse, and I threw my hands up cutting Marlo off before he got himself locked up.
“No! I’m okay. We can go Marlo,” I quickly said, sliding off the examination table. “Just let me put my clothes on. I frantically reached for my clothes, putting my leggings on under the cloth hospital gown. Then I pulled off the hospital gown, since I still had my bra on and put my t-shirt back on, put my slides on and picked my purse up.
I politely smiled at the nurse who was having a heated stare down with Marlo, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out the room first, then the building and once we were in the parking lot I pulled out my car keys.
“I can meet you back at the house.” I sighed, looking down at the ground.
“Nah,” he grunted, snatching my car keys from my hands. “Ion trust you no more. You can ride with me.”
“But my car?” I asked, getting aggravated.
“Fuck that car, I only care about my seed.” Marlo said before turning on his heels walking towards his car. Leaving no other choice but to reluctantly follow behind him.
Chapter 32
Zaylee Cooper
“I think. I think we’re having a baby boy,” The ultrasound technician happily smiled as she pointed at our son’s little winky.
“Aaayye! I told you I only make boys!” Mikael jumped up excitedly throwing his fist into the air. “Here,” he happily said, digging into his pocket and pulling out a hundred dollar bill, shoving it into the ultrasound tech’s hand.
“How you only make boys when this is your first baby?” I asked, smiling up at Mikael.
“Technically this woulda been my second born I-” I cut my eyes at him daring him to finish his sentence. Mikael cleared his throat then said. “Just know I know and if you wanna find out again after my son comes out let me know.” Mikael winked at me and I rolled my eyes at him.
“Un-huh. Get beat up in here,” I snicked, trying to keep my own smile at bay.
Seeing Mikael’s happiness, you couldn’t help yourself but to smile with him. I had no clue what I expected from Mikael during my pregnancy. However, if I did have expectations he’d accessed them all. In the last month Mikael had really stepped up to the plate. I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. Mikael waited on me hand and foot. He made sure I ate every day and he wasn’t just feeding my anything either. The nigga had changed up my entire diet since he found out about our son. He’d turned into a nutritionist overnight. As soon as the doctors gave us the packet with all the do’s and don’ts Mikael had been on it. I won’t say we lived together but he spent most of his nights at my condo. He might have gone home one or two days out of the week. Mainly when he needed to wash and bring back fresh clothes. The nights he didn’t stay with me he made sure we stayed on the phone until we both fell asleep. I thought he was going to get on my damn nerves being around him every day, but it was the exact opposite. I enjoyed Mikael’s company, I loved seeing the man he’d grown into.
The space we were in right now was amazing. We weren’t worried about anything other than being parents. Everythingelse seemed minuscule compared to the life growing in my stomach. Our focus was on getting ready for this baby that was coming faster than either one of us anticipated. I swear I fell in love as soon as I heard our son’s heartbeat. I couldn’t understand how I loved a person I never met before, but it was safe to say I am in love with my mom. The thought of being a mom used to terrify me, now I couldn’t wait to proudly wear that title. I ended up being a little further along than I figured I was, literally eighteen weeks along when we finally got to my first doctor’s appointment. Which meant I got pregnant the first time we had sex again. Mikael hadn’t stopped talking about him shooting soldiers out since. I was kind of nervous because my belly wasn’t even showing. I had a small round, hard, pudge that looked like I had eaten way too much. My doctor reassured us everything was good; our son’s measurements were perfect. Today at my ultrasound appointment I was twenty-two weeks along. A few weeks shy of being six months pregnant. It was crazy how time had been flying since I found out about being pregnant.
