CHAPTER
FOUR
Mindy
I barely make it to the bathroom before throwing up the best dinner I’ve had in a long time. As my stomach empties its contents until I’m left dry heaving, tears once again stream down my face. This time, they’re not due to the humorous stories Cruz took great delight in telling me. No, fear and stark terror have wrapped themselves around me right now, and as my gaze catches the tiny stick on the corner of the bathroom sink, I break down in hysterical sobs.
Two lines.
One horrible night has got me hunched over my toilet, wondering why the pills I took in the hospital didn’t work.
The one thing I know for sure is that I’ll be keeping this baby. Despite how they were conceived, I grew up being taught that all children were blessings no matter how they came to be. The biggest thing now is how do I tell Jolie? I’m barely hanging on most days and in a few short months, I’m expected to be wholly responsible for a baby.
Once I’m convinced I am done being sick, I get myself and the bathroom cleaned up. I think I’ve spent more money these past two weeks on cleaning supplies than I have in my entire adult life. Satisfied that it’s as good as it’s going to get, I trudge back into the kitchen and grab a bottle of ginger ale, a sleeve of saltines, and several plastic bags just in case the urge hits once again.
“How am I gonna tell Jolie? Not about being pregnant, but about keeping the baby?” I murmur out loud as I get settled on my bed and grab my remote.
Deciding on a show I’ve been binging for a while, I turn it on and then pick up my phone. There’s no time like the present. My guilt over constantly shutting her out since that night is like one of those snuggle things; it’s wrapped around me and burrowed deep into the marrow of my bones. I think it’s because when it comes to our relationship, we’ve never really had boundaries per se. Outside of the nitty gritty details from that night, which I can’t totally recall, there’s no one thing about me that she doesn’t know about in some fashion or form. Most of the time it’s because she was right there, alongside me, whenever things were happening.
Some of that has changed, of course, since she and Dex got together. She’s got her hands full between his grandmothers, his siblings that they’re now raising, and of course, Dex himself. Since he and Brock are best friends, he’s been around for as long as I can remember as well. Granted, growing up Iknowmy brother and his friend thought of us as little more than pests because we were always tagging along behind them, or begging for rides to the mall.
Good times. No real responsibilities, hanging out with my friend, learning about life.
“Yeah, that worked out well for ya, Min,” I mutter as I unlock my phone. Jolie and I have the same password, only reversed. That way, if either of us ever have to use the other’s phone, we can access it quickly.
God, we have so many of these little rituals and things we’ve done forever. Most of our ‘rules’ were created to protect us, of course, since we became aware that females are never truly safe in the world. Maybe it was stupid, maybe not, because Clark still managed to get through all my safeguards and assault me in the most violent way.
Me: Hey, can you come by and talk?
Jolie: I can be there in a few, are you okay? Do you need anything?
Me: I’ll be okay when you get here. Drive safe. I’m in my room.
Jolie: Gotcha. See you soon.
Since she’s got a key to my place, as well as the code to my alarm system, I focus on settling my stomach which still feels a little off. I know I need to make an appointment with an obstetrician so I can get started on the prenatal vitamins and all that jazz, but there’s a tiny bit of fear involved in saying it out loud.
Because what if Clark decides he wants to be involved? I know there are states where, if a child is created even if it’s due to an assault, the other parent has parental rights. Personally, I feel like they shouldn’t, but nobody asked me for my opinion. Still, I need to know if there’s anything I can do to ensure he isn’t involved inmychild’s life. That’s another reason I need Jolie; she and Dex have a fantastic attorney that fought hard for himand his pilot after the oil rig explosion. This might be outside his wheelhouse since he’s more on the corporate end of things, but I’m sure he’s got friends who are skilled in family law that he can point me toward.
“Go ahead and cry, Mindy,” Jolie says as she holds me close. “You can’t keep all your feelings bottled up, it’s not good for the baby. Do you think our kids will be best friends like we are?”
I pull back from her, my face covered in the detritus of my crying jag and ask, “You’re pregnant? At the same time as me?”
That was one of my secret hopes a long time ago until Jolie said she never wanted to get married or have kids since everyone leaves. Apparently, now that she and Dex are married, things have changed.
She blushes while nodding. “Yeah, we just found out a few weeks ago. So, since you are just finding all of this out, we need to make a list of shit for you to take care of. Hell, Abuela and Nonna are going to be over the moon to have babies to spoil.”
Despite the tears still staining my face, I grin because Dex’s grandmothers are forces to be reckoned with all on their own. They have been taking care of Dex’s three younger siblings, Thad, Anni, and Arya, for years but then their parents died and the state decided the two women were not young enough to take care of them any longer. When the threat of them being put into foster care was mentioned, Dex and Jolie entered into a marriage of convenience, although I always knew there was a slight spark.
I mean, maybe not when we were younger, of course, because that would just be creepy as fuck. But I saw the looks he gave her when she came over after work one day and now, hearing that my best friend has gotten her happily ever after has me cheesing it hard.
“Yeah, they will be,” I reply. “But, Jolie, what do I do abouthim? I can’t let this baby be involved with a man who thinks it’s okay to take what wasn’t freely offered!”
“I’ll ask Dex to see if his attorney has any suggestions. Have you told Brock yet?”
“About?” I stammer. “The rape? The baby?”
“Any of it,” she retorts. “And… judging from your face, you haven’t said a single word.”
