“He makes me forget my own name,” she admits. “I want what all of your new friends have, Fee. Someone who looks at me like I hung the moon, but lets me do my thing, too. I can’t lose my identity again.”
“Do you really think he’d do that to you? He seems relatively laidback and easygoing from what I’ve seen,” I reply.
“He is,” she whispers. “But it’s happened before, remember?”
I nod because when Ella and I first met, she wasn’t the woman she is now; she was almost afraid of her own shadow, but slowly, she began coming out of her shell. It’s probably because I wouldn’t let her wallow, and once she was on her own two feet thanks to a shit ton of therapy and copious bottles of wine, she took the world by storm. So, when she briefly told me about a man she met that she was starting to fall for, I was excited. Then she said he was the one who got away.
“I want to ask you something and I don’t want you to get mad at me, okay?” I query. “Did Eddie ever give you any indication he would treat you the way Trent did? That he would demean you or put you down to make himself feel better about his little dick energy?”
“No. He was so good to me. I know we weren’t together for long, but it was like he anticipated what I wanted and then he made it happen. He was proud of what I was doing and kept talking about how it might be challenging, but we could make it work. So, I don’t know what made him disappear without another word, Fee. But I must have done something, right?” she asks.
“I think you need to talk to him about all of this, Ella. Maybe not inside the RV, of course, since the two of you weren’t able to keep your hands to yourself. But you deserve to know what happenedback then. It’s obvious he’s part of the club now and I know you’ll visit whenever you’re able because I’m going to insist on it, so y’all need to sort out your shit since I refuse to have past drama seeping around these folks. From what Eli has shared, they all need a little bit of peace in their lives. What if you and Eddie are that for each other? The thing is, until youcommunicate, you’ll never know.”
“Man, those pain meds have you all kinds of bossy, don’t they?” she teases. At my look, she throws her hands up and says, “Fine, fine. I’ll talk to him. Because there’s been nobody else since he walked away.”
“Ella,” I whisper, “that was years ago, honey.”
“He’s that unforgettable. I don’t know if I buy all the baloney about there being soulmates or not, but if they’re a real thing? Then he’s mine, plain and simple. Why do you think I take all the contracts I can? If I keep busy, I don’t have to think about how I screwed up.”
“It might not have been you,” I caution. “Just promise me that y’all will have that talk, my friend, and I’ll drop it. Unless I need to have words with him about hurting my bestie, that is.”
She snickers as Kevin wakes up and crawls over to her lap. “He’s such a cutie,” she murmurs, picking him up and kissing his head. “Have the kids seen him yet?”
“Not yet because he’s so young. Eli wants to wait a few weeks, and I agree since he’s so tiny.”
“That makes sense. I don’t think they’d hurt him but why take that chance?” she replies.
I try to hide a yawn and giggle when Ella points at me. “What?” I ask.
“Let’s finish these masks then you need to get some rest while I see what I can get into to drive Thelma crazy,” she says.
“I’m so tired of sleeping,” I grumble as I get up and head to the bathroom. When Ella starts laughing, I yell, “Shut up, you know what I mean!”
“So testy,” she teases. Once we’re done washing our masks off and have put moisturizer on, she says, “I’ll do the second round of IV antibiotics closer to dinner.”
“I hope like hell this knocks the infection completely out,” I reply. “But again, even though this is a pain in the ass? I’m glad it didn’t happen to Otis.”
“I wish it hadn’t happened to you at all, Fee,” Ella says as I get comfortable on the bed. She plumps up the pillows, double checks the canister and clucks her tongue, then pulls one of my new throws out of the box that she stuck on the dresser and covers me up. “I know it’s not been washed yet, but it’s soft and fluffy.”
“It’s perfect,” I say. When she walks toward me with the box we’re using for all of my meds, I ask, “Can I just try taking the oral pain meds this time around?”
“Why not? I think if you use them during the day and the IV ones at night, you might start feeling better about the whole situation. I know you hate being loopy.”
“I really do,” I admit. “Plus, I feel like I’m becoming a burden to y’all. I can’t really help with Cami because she’s at the grabby stage and the thought of her pulling my PICC line out or the tubefrom the wound vac makes me freak out a little bit. I can feed Kevin, of course, but Eli prefers to handle expressing his bladder to keep me from being exposed to anything.”
“You’re not a burden, Fee. Remember, this is just a blip. Now, speaking of Eli, how are things going between the two of you?”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “He has me so worked up! But outside of a few heavy makeout sessions, he puts the brakes on whenever I try for more. Can women get blue balls? Because if so, I’ve got them! I mean, he helps me in the shower, so he’s obviously touching me, but it’s almost clinical instead of sensual, and of course, he helps me get dressed in the morning. I know I’m affecting him as well, but he won’t give me what I want!”
She starts laughing at me and I seriously start thinking about finding a new best friend. “Fee, he’s giving you what you’ve never had before, my friend. Intimacy is about more than just sex, you know, and what’s more intimate than bathing you or even dressing you? He’s a keeper, girly, and you know it, you’re just sexually frustrated. I’m sure once you’ve got at least one working arm things will change, but right now, you’ve got a wound vac with a pretty nasty wound underneath it on one arm, and a PICC line in the other. A PICC line, if you recall, that goes into your heart. Do you really think he’s willing to take a chance that something might happen just so he can get his rocks off? Because you didn’t see him when you went back into the hospital since your fever was so high you were delirious. He was a mess and badgered the doctor for all the information he could give him, so he’d know what not to do when you finally got released.”
Well, she just took the wind out of my sails. “I had no clue, Ella.”
“He loves you, Fee, and you have no idea how happy that makes me for you,” she says. “Here, take these and get some rest.”
I swallow the pain meds with a sip of my lemonade then snuggle back into the blankets just as Kevin manages to crawl up the bed via the comforter. “Come here, you fuzzy orange menace,” I say, wiggling my fingers. Just as he did that first morning, he walks up my body then settles himself underneath my chin, his purring vibrating against my throat.
“Now that your attack cat is here, I’m bouncing. See you for dinner, my friend,” Ella teases.
