“Why would that make me feel better?” he asked with an expression that read,Are you an idiot?
“I—” He held up a hand to stop me before I could say more.
“You’re not a mistake. Don’t ever say that about yourself. And don’t sayyoudestroyed a family by being born. Your mom cheated, not you,” Jackson said adamantly.
My heart was slapping against the inside of my chest. I didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t like he was making some grand statement, but after being made to feel like an inconvenience by Peter my entire life, it felt so, so good to have someone like Jackson tell me that my situation wasn’t my fault.
I chewed on the inside of my lip. “Thanks, Jackson,” I said quietly. “Don’t say you’re a mistake, either.”
I could feel him staring at me, then he tapped a finger against my kneecap. “Come on, let’s get back to the party. I think they’re playing bingo in a few.”
I followed Jackson back into the dining room, and we sat at a booth with his family and got ready to play bingo. Throughout the rest of the party, I kept catching Jackson watching me, looking at me like I mattered.
I kept staring back, hoping he knew my look was telling him that he mattered, too.
Chapter 15
BEFORE
February, Twelve Years Ago
Ispent most of my sixteenth birthday hiding in my room. I hadn’t gotten so much as a text from Julie or Jackson all day, and I kept checking my phone to see if I just hadn’t heard it ring.
When my phone finally vibrated under my sheets, I dove head-first for it. The moment I read Julie’s name, I answered with a flustered, “Hello?”
“Hey Addie, what are you up to?” Julie said cheerily.
I tried not to sound disappointed. “Good, just hanging around.” I shouldn’t care that she and Jackson forgot my birthday. My birthday had never been important to anyone in my family, so I don’t know why I was expecting so much from them.
“Do you want to come with me to the restaurant? I was going to help Marie with inventory.”
I hadn’t done a single thing all day, so even though it wasn’t about me, I said yes. When Julie picked me up half an hour later, I was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a blue oversized sweater I got fromGoodwill, which I paired with my black high-top Converse. I left my blonde hair in its natural pin-straight style down my back.
When I got into the truck, Julie had on a full face of make up, her hair was curled in long waves, and she was wearing a long-sleeve dress with black tights.
“You look nice for inventory,” I said as she turned up her CD so we could sing along.
“Oh, I was dressed nice for church this morning,” Julie said.
I raised an eyebrow. I had never once heard Julie say she went to church on Sunday mornings, but I didn’t press her.
She parked in the front of the restaurant on Main Street, which she’d also never done before. I started to ask her why we were going through the front when she pushed open the door and a loud bundle of voices screamed, “SURPRISE!” I jumped back at the sound, looking over at Julie as she clasped her hands together and jumped up and down.
I was trying not to cry as I looked around the room. A banner hung from the ceiling, a hand painted "Happy Birthday Addie". Jackson was standing beneath it with his hands in his front pockets, grinning at me with Marie and Phil next to him, smiles plastered on their faces. Behind them were half the employees from the restaurant. Everyone started to hug me one by one, and when I got to Jackson, I squeezed him tighter than everyone else.
“Were you surprised?” he asked against my ear.
“Yeah, this was the last thing I expected,” I said with a huge smile on my face. “I thought everyone forgot about my birthday.”
Jackson nudged his shoulder against mine. “We’d never forget your birthday, you fool.” Nothing could ruin the happiness that was radiating from me.
Julie had created a game ofJeopardy!with questions about me in different categories. There were four different categories with four questions in each one. I couldn’t believe she knew enough random facts about me to make this game.
Marie chose a category first: Addie for 300.
“Okay Marie, lucky for you it’s an easy one. What brand of shoes is Addie always wearing?” Julie asked.
Marie crinkled her eyebrows, trying to think. “Vans, right?”
