‘It’s Puglian, apparently,’ he told Nora. ‘Getting a bit of our heritage in there.’
Nora thought of her Italian grandfather and wondered what he had felt like when he realised the London Brick Company was actually based in Bedford. Had he been truly disappointed? Or had he, actually, just decided to make the most of it? There was probably a version of their grandfather whowentto London and on his first day got run over by a double-decker bus at Piccadilly Circus.
Joe and Ewan had a full wine rack in the kitchen and Nora noticed that one of the bottles was a Californian Syrah from the Buena Vista vineyard. Nora felt her skin prickle as she saw the two printed signatures at the bottom – Alicia and Eduardo Martìnez. She smiled, sensing Eduardo was just as happy in this life. She wondered, momentarily, who Alicia was and what she was like. At least there were good sunsets there.
‘You okay?’ asked Ash, as Nora gazed absent-mindedly at the label.
‘Yeah, sure. It just, um, looks like a good one.’
‘That’s my absolute fave,’ said Ewan. ‘Such a bloody good wine. Shall we get it open?’
‘Well,’ said Nora, ‘only if you were going to have a drink anyway.’
‘Well, I’m not,’ said Joe. ‘I’ve been overdoing it a bit recently. I’m in a little teetotal patch.’
‘You know what your bro is like,’ added Ewan, planting a kiss on Joe’s cheek. ‘All or nothing.’
‘Oh yeah. I do.’
Ewan already had the corkscrew in his hands. ‘Had one hell of a day at work. So I’m happy to guzzle the whole lot straight from the bottle if no one will join me.’
‘I’m in,’ said Ash.
‘I’m okay,’ said Nora, remembering that the last time she had seen him, in the business lounge of a hotel, her brother had confessed to being an alcoholic.
They gave Molly a picture book and Nora read it with her on the sofa.
The evening progressed. They talked news and music and movies. Joe and Ewan had quite enjoyedLast Chance Saloon.
A little while later, and to everyone’s surprise, Nora took a left turn out of the safe environs of pop culture and cut to the chase with her brother.
‘Did you ever get pissed off with me? You know, for backing out of the band?’
‘That was years ago, sis. Lot of water under the bridge since then.’
‘You wanted to be a rock star, though.’
‘He still is a rock star,’ said Ewan, laughing. ‘But he’s all mine.’
‘I always feel like I let you down, Joe.’
‘Well, don’t ... But I feel like I let you down too. Because I was such an idiot ... I was horrid to you for a little while.’
These words felt like a tonic she had been waiting years to hear. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she managed.
‘Before I was with Ewan, I was so dumb about mental health. I thought panic attacks were a big nothing ... You know, mind over matter. Man up, sis. But then when Ewan started having them, I understood how real they are.’
‘It wasn’t just the panic attacks. It just felt wrong. I don’t know ... For what it’s worth, I think you’re happier in this life than the one where you’re’ - she nearly saiddead- ‘in the band.’
Her brother smiled and looked at Ewan. She doubted he believed it, but Nora had to accept that – as she now knew only too well – some truths were just impossible to see.
Tricycle
As the weeks went by, Nora began to feel something remarkable start to happen.
She began to remember aspects of her life that she had never actually lived.
For instance, one day someone she had never known in her root life – a friend she had apparently known while studying and teaching at the university – phoned her about meeting for lunch. And as the caller ‘Lara’ came up on the phone, a name came to her – ‘Lara Bryan’ – and she pictured her completely, and somehow knew her partner was called Mo, and that they had a baby called Aldous. And then she met her and had all these things confirmed.
