I said nothing. I slipped my phone out of my bag and checked the screen. The text was from Gina Delvecchio. The first line:I knew the name sounded familiar. I read it. “Oh, ho,” I said.
“What are you doing?” Dick said.
I held up an index finger and texted Gina back:What’s your favorite wine?I intended to buy her a case.
“Didn’t your mom ever tell you it’s not polite to play with your phone in the middle of an important conversation?” Swinging Dick said.
I put the phone down and smiled sweetly at him. “Interesting choice of words, Terrence.”
“What did you call me?”
“That’s your real name, right? Terrence Fitzpatrick? Or do you prefer Terry?”
“Uh…”
I leaned back in the seat and crossed my legs. I wanted to becomfortable for this. “Anyhoo, Terry,” I said, “I heard you really put Louise through the ringer back in the day.”
“Louise?”
“Your mom.”
“How do you…Why do you know her name?”
I turned to Ralph. “Did he swear you to secrecy?”
Ralph shrugged.
“Oh, well. I’m going to tell you something about your boss, and you can either keep it to yourself or use it to get a raise. My guess is he doesn’t pay you enough.”
Ralph lifted an eyebrow.
“You’re pissing me off, Sunny,” Swinging Dick said, his finger hovering above the tablet. “You don’t want to piss me off.”
I kept talking to Ralph. “Back when Terry here was a freshman in high school, he hacked into school records to change his D on the chemistry final to a B.” I leaned closer to Ralph and stage-whispered, “Didn’t want to get grounded. Not that he had that much of a social life.”
I glanced at Swinging Dick, aka Terry Fitzpatrick, former C student at East Boston High.
His mouth dropped open, but he didn’t say a word.
I went back to Ralph. “Problem was, Terry wasn’t such a good hacker back then, so he left a trail that was real easy to follow, even for a high school principal.” I winked at him. “The principal was Louise Fitzpatrick, aka Terry’s mom.”
“That’s…That’s not true.”
“And his mom reported him to the police.”
Ralph’s eyes went big. “His own mom?”
“Yep,” I said. “Wanted to teach him a lesson, apparently. But that isn’t the worst part.”
“She’s lying,” Swinging Dick said.
“What’s the worst part?” Ralph said.
“After the two officers cuffed him and put him in the squad car,Swinging Dickhere was so freaked out, he peed himself. All over the backseat. Poor Louise had to post bail and bring an extra pair of pants.”
“She’s lying. I swear.”
Ralph looked at me, then at his boss.
