“Video herself and post it?”
“Yes. He said she kept screaming that she wanted to use her own words, without ‘policing’ from Harold and him.”
“Doesn’t sound like a great idea.”
“It most definitely was not,” I said. “But she’d drunk half a bottle of wine from room service and so she was extra, as Tony put it, ‘emboldened.’ ”
“Jesus.”
“That’s Melanie Joan.”
Richie had been lying on his back. He rolled onto his side,facing the screen. “I know it’s been a long time,” he said, “but I don’t remember her being quite so…”
“Volatile and self-destructive?”
“I was going to say loud,” Richie said. “But that works, too.”
“People change,” I said. “Life throws us curveballs, and sometimes they hit us and leave scars.”
“Good metaphor.”
“Thanks,” I said. “And as you know, I don’t even like baseball.”
Richie smiled. “You haven’t changed, though, Sunny,” he said. “You never change.”
I inched closer to the screen. His soft gaze on my face. I knew what he meant. In the past several years, I’d been thrown a lot of curveballs—more than one of which had been direct threats to my life. Yet I hadn’t hidden away or switched jobs or become embittered or paranoid or even loud like Melanie Joan. Unwavering conviction was my superpower—or maybe my kryptonite. And it was just as true when it came to my personal life. I knew Richie had meant it as a gentle observation—a compliment, even. But it made me think of what Elizabeth had said to me at dinner.People change, Sonya…you should try it sometime.
“Richie,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“When you told me you couldn’t make it for dinner with my parents, I was really angry at you.”
“You were?” he said. “You didn’t act like it.” He started to apologize, but I cut him off.
“I didn’t act angry, because I knew I was being unfair. Butthe thing is, that never stopped me in the past. Every time you did something that didn’t fit in with my way of dealing with the world, I complained, I pouted. I was a general pain in the ass,” I said. “Remember when you decided to marry Kathryn? We were divorced. You had every right. But I took it as a personal affront. Same as when you told me she was pregnant. Even last year, when we hadn’t even seen each other in months and I heard you were moving to Jersey. I was furious.”
“I got it, though,” he said. “All those times, I understood.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have.”
“Why?”
“Because I shouldn’t have been trying to stop you from changing.”
Richie gave me a smile. “Don’t beat yourself up,” he said. “It all worked out.”
“I know, Richie, but if it’s going to keep working out, I need to…go with the flow a little more, I guess. Not be so selfish.”
“I’ve been selfish, too,” he said.
“Getting married and having a kid isn’t selfish.”
“I’m talking about now,” he said. “I’ve been putting this job over your needs. It’s because I’m new at it, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Richie…”
“Pick a night.”
