Could she love him?
In that moment, Gray understood that he wanted her love more than anything. But wouldn’t it be cosmically unfair to ask for it if he couldn’t even guarantee her a month of his life? And if the tables were turned, and he had to watch her skate so close to death…
The thought grabbed him by the throat, and the urgency to become one with her grew a hundredfold. At once, fairness or unfairness no longer factored. The words had been fighting to leave his mouth for days, and now he had to speak them.
“I love you.”
Her eyes flared, and for the briefest of moments, Gray wondered if he’d made a terrible mistake. He’d told her, and she lay trapped beneath him, their bodies on the very edge. What if it was a step too far? What if she wanted to—
“Gray, I love you, t—”
His relief-soaked joy was so great he couldn’t let her finish. Gray’s lips crushed against hers, and, with the tilt of her hips, she welcomed him. In a flash of something like déjà vu, he entered her like he was made for it. Like he was made for her.
Gray couldn’t really claim to be a man of faith, but his time at Loyola had taught him to seek the divine in all things. And as he moved deep inside her and thrilled at the rasp of her breath and the clench of her thighs, he thanked the holy design and grace six billion years in the making that led him to this moment. Whatever happened to him — live or die — she knew his heart belonged to her, and as far as Gray was concerned, there was no better place for it to be — in this world or any other.
“I love you.” He spoke the words a second time because saying them tied him to her in ways he never knew he wanted to be tied. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to lose himself to another person, but he was irrevocably hers.
“Gray,” she cried, her arms tightening around him, her fingers splaying along his back.
They moved together like a piece of music, an allegro of flesh and blood, the harmony of kisses and sighs.
The composition of their lovemaking built until the crescendo beckoned, and Gray fought to hold it back as he watched her. Meredith, morning, noon, and night, was so beautiful that looking at her often left him tongue-tied, but the erotic flush that now painted her cheeks redefined beauty. Nothing could compare.
And then, with a gasp, her eyelashes fluttered, and a tiny frown etched her forehead. Her look of sweet torture sacked his control. He grasped her hip and claimed her hand. Meredith’s eyes flew open, and, for a moment, they both froze, staring deep into each other.
“With you, I’m safe,” she whispered, and Gray lost the reins.
Several minutes later — after he’d gone half wild, taking every one of her cries with him — Gray caught his breath above a panting Meredith, and he pressed lazy kisses along her cheeks and lips. He rolled them over so that she lay astride him. He pulled the blankets up around her, and he heaved a great sigh, loving the promising weight of her body on his.
“I’ve never… That was…” Her voice was soft and awed. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
Gray gazed down at Meredith resting her cheek on his chest. He smoothed his hands up and down her back, savoring the fact that he could.
“Like what, sweetness?”
She picked up her head, splaying her palm on his chest and setting her chin on the back of her hand. The color rose high on her cheeks and her eyes danced. “Like… Oh my God, three?”
His mouth twitched. She was so damn cute.
“Three?” He crooked a brow and gave her a devil’s smile, but pride almost made him levitate. “I’ll try to do better next time.”
Meredith rolled her eyes at him, but he watched her color deepen at his mention of next time. Gray prayed to God there would be a next time.
And countless times after that.
His surgery was in ten days. The thought sent a dart of nerves through his belly. He wanted to come out of it in the clear so badly thinking about it actually hurt. Instead, he tightened his arms around Meredith.
Above him she glanced at the clock and made a face. “Is it terrible that we had sex while your mother took my son to the toy store?”
He tried not to grin. He really did. “I can’t think of anything better to do while my mother takes your son to the toy store.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “They should go to the toy store all the time.”
Pretending to be unamused, Meredith gave him a hard look. “We should get dressed.”
Gray heaved a great sigh. “I suppose we must.”
“And then we need to get back to the manuscript.”
Gray ran the tip of his pinky down the length of her spine and watched as her eyelids drooped just a little. “If you insist,” he whispered.
