Gray:Did you change my bed sheets?
In spite of what it meant, Gray hoped she’d say no.
Meredith:Yes. Is that okay?
He gripped the phone and told himself to breathe. But no matter what was reasonable, no matter what was real, no matter what universe he lived in, Gray Blakewood did not want to be Meredith Ryan’s patient.
Gray:It’s not.
The second he pressed send, Gray knew he was in the wrong. It was selfish. It was ungrateful. And it wasn’t her fault he felt like a fucking invalid. But that changed nothing. He shouldn’t have been surprised a moment later when she tapped on his bedroom door.
“Gray?” she hoarse-whispered. “Can I come in?”
“Dammit,” he hissed. He stalked to the door and opened it. “I know you meant well—”
His mouth stopped working when he took her in. She wore long-sleeved pajamas — nothing revealing or scandalous. But the plum-colored fabric fell like water over her body, silhouetting her breasts and hips. A hint of cleavage peeked from the top’s V-neck. And she definitely wasn’t wearing a bra. Gray swallowed as he forced himself to meet her eye.
No, he absolutely did not want to be her patient.
“I’m sorry,” she said, locking eyes with him. Her voice, calm and clear, rang with sincerity. “I should have asked first. We had lunch there, and I didn’t want you to be sleeping in crumbs.”
Gray frowned. The sight of her in his bedroom doorway, so soft and sensual, was maddening. He wanted to gaze at her, to touch her, to make love to her all night long. “I don’t want you to apolo—”
“I know you value your privacy. I won’t do it again.”
Watching her humble herself pushed him over the edge. He didn’t want to be her boss. He didn’t want her to serve him. He wanted to pull her into the room and bar the door to the rest of the world.
“Idon’twant a nurse,” he growled. “I don’t want a nurse. Or a housekeeper. Or a personal assistant. I don’t want someone to look after me or clean up after me.”
Meredith’s brows shot up. Her mouth opened, and when no words came out, she shut it. And for the second time, he saw something else shut, too. The openness that was Meredith Ryan. Guarded, she squared her shoulders and took a step back in the hall.
“I see.”
“No,” he said, following after her, frustration nearly choking him. “You don’t see. It’s not you, Meredith. It’s—”
“Are you firing me?” she asked. Her walls had come up. She looked ready for anything, her chin high as if bracing for disappointment. He was struck with the certainty that she knew how to survive — no matter what. The set of her shoulders and the flint in her eyes told him she was used to letdowns. They were all too common in her life; they took their toll, but she weathered each in turn.
And Gray Blakewood did not want to be one of them.
“Of course I’m not firing you. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Pushing his misery aside, he searched for the words to make her understand. “Even if I don’t want help, I still…”
…want you to stay.
…want to get to know you.
…want to kiss you senseless.
There were so many ways he could end the sentence, and most of them would send her running out the door. And as he struggled for words, Meredith’s face softened, the walls dissolving in her eyes first, and Gray knew that though she might not understand, she wouldn’t make him say any more.
“Look…” She shook her head and pushed up the sleeves of her pajama top, drawing his eyes to the perfection of her wrists. When had he ever noticed a woman’s wrists before? “We’re both new at this. I don’t want to make your life any harder… and I sure don’t want to make you feel worse.”
Her eyes met his when she spoke, and Gray could see the kindness in her that ran deep. Something in him clenched almost painfully. Her sweetness soothed him, taking away the sting of his humiliation, but his hunger for her seared him from the inside. Why couldn’t they have met sooner? Before the damned tumor made his world go sideways? When she could have seen him simply as a man?
Meredith shrugged, unaware of the war she’d started within him. “We should… I don’t know… make a list or something. A list of things you’re okay with me do—”
Gray couldn’t stand it any longer. He grabbed her by the wrist, knowing he’d lost his mind. “Meredith…”
Startled, she glanced from his hand back to his face in an instant.
