“Let’s go tomorrow,” Jacques blurted. He didn’t bother deliberating or pacing himself now that she’d agreed to see him. He wasn’t interested in testing the waters. He wanted more.Now.
But when he saw the way her eyes widened and the edge of her teeth bit at the flesh of her lip, he wondered if he should have waded in instead ofcannonballing.
“I don’t think I can do this,” she said on awhisper.
“Do what? This?” He lifted his hands and gestured between them. “You got this. This iseasy.”
He spoke with a tease in his voice, wanting to keep things light. If she was going to try to pull away, Jacques was going to pushback.
He watched her try to fight a smile, and she conceded with a nod. “You’re right. It’s too easy. Which means it’s too easy for me to—” She stopped herself, pressed her lips together and lookedaway.
“Too easy to what?” Jacques asked leaning closer, but he could guess theanswer.
She gave a sigh and met his eyes again. “Get in over myhead.”
He thought a moment, and then felt his face, his shoulders, his whole body soften because there was only one way torespond.
“What ifIget in overmyhead?” he asked. “I mean, if that happened, I’d sure want somecompany.”
This time, she couldn’t win against her smile. With Rainey, teasing seemed to work, so he kept at it. He ducked his head and spoke just above awhisper.
“I mean, I’ve written more songs in the last three weeks than I usually do in six months,” he confessed and then winced as though this were grave news. “If anyone’s in over their heads, it’sme.”
Without taking his eyes from hers, so beautiful yet so anxious, he reached for her hand, and she let him take it. Her fingers felt warm and delicate in his, and he resisted the urge to bring them to his lips. But he stroked her hand with his thumb, and then hers came alive and stroked back, making him want to crow with joy. When had the touch of a woman’s thumb ever felt like such atriumph?
Oh, hell yeah,he thought.I’m in way over myhead.
“Give me a chance.” His fingers entwined withhers.
“I can’t.” Her thumb traced over hispalm.
“You can.” His pinky caressed the heel of herhand.
Her fingers squeezed tightly. So tightly. “I like you… somuch—”
“Then just keep letting me see you.” He squeezed rightback.
“It’s not thatsimple.”
He sniffed a laugh and held on tight. “It is, Rainey. It’s thatsimple.”
As they exchanged these words, their hands spoke an entirely different conversation, and Jacques found his eyes drawn to their joined flesh, liking that dialogue so much better. He felt his own longing matched in her touch. She wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. Their hands had gone well past dating. They had become lovers. Pledged vows of fidelity. Picked outrings.
He moved his thumb slowly from the base of her palm up to her index finger, straightening its slender length with his touch. The sight of their hands together was so beautiful, so innocently erotic, he could have watched it allnight.
Jacques was still bewitched by the sight when she spoke. “For you, it is. For me it’s not. If I let myself get involved with you, and things go south, I have a lot more atstake.”
That was debatable since he guessed she hadn’t been hung up on him, night and day, for the last three weeks, but he let the commentgo.
“So,” he said, squeezing her lovely hand, “seeing where this could go isn’t worth therisk?”
A pained expression, one that told of guilt and regret, crossed her face. “Please don’t think it’s easy to say this to you,” she said, her voice low and anguished. “My life right now has to be about helping Holi. Ican’t—”
The last word broke in her throat, and now Jacques saw raw fear in hereyes.
“I can’t lose her. And I can’t risk falling for you only to smash to pieces when you and Heroine decide to move to out west or to New York orwherever.”
Jacques couldn’t help it. He let out a chuckle. In part, the thought of living on either coast seemed completely at odds with who he was, but he also felt a jolt of euphoria at her belief in him and his future. And he hadn’t missed the suggestion that she could fall forhim.
