“But what if—” I broke off, afraid to speak the words aloud.
Cole angled his chin, searching my face. “But what if what?” he coaxed gently.
I bit my lip, hoping a wicked fate wasn’t listening too closely. “What if Ava doesn’t…” I gulped a breath and made myself continue. “What if what happened before… happens again?”
A shadow fell over his brow, and I immediately regretted my words. I knew they had summoned the memory of the overdose. The day he’d nearly lost her. If that happened again, this time when he wasn’t there to save her, Cole would blame himself.
Frowning, Cole held my gaze. How he managed that, I didn’t know, because the thought of losing Ava had to remind him of the loss of the rest of his family.
He cleared his throat. “You’re right. It could happen again.”
My stomach pitched.See,I told myself, trying to absorb the blow.He’s not ready for this.Accepting this now would save us untold heartache later.
Cole tilted his chin, a deep-seated peace clearing his expression. His grip on my shoulders tightened. “If it does, I know the only way I’ll survive is with you by my side.”
The bag of Chinese takeout almost slipped from my fingers, and I clenched it with startled force. Noticing my fumble, Cole reached for the bag, tugged it gently from my grip, and set it on the floor beside us. He straightened again and looked down at me, and his eyes narrowed in concern.
“You’re shaking.”
And I was. His words about needing me by his side had set me trembling. “Do you really mean that?” I heard myself ask.
“What? About wanting to be with you through anything?” He caught my chin in his fingers. “A thousand times, yes.”
The tightness in my stomach wouldn’t let go. Believing him would be like cliff diving, leaving the firm earth beneath my feet and hoping I didn’t smash against jagged rocks on my way down — or find myself sucked into a riptide.
A riptide. That’s how Ava had described the chemistry between us.
“You couldn’t fight it if you tried.”
And, boy, was I trying to fight it. “How can you be sure you won’t resent me if things go sideways?”
“Elise.” He kept his hand at my chin and wrapped his free arm low around my back. With gentle pressure, he tugged me forward until our bodies aligned, and a wave of warmth swept through me.
I’d only been away from his embrace for a mere twenty-four hours, but already, I’d forgotten its safety. Its sweetness. I wanted to nuzzle my face into his shirt and feel the heat of his chest through the fabric. I wanted the strength of his arms to enfold me. And I wanted to believe it was mine for the taking for as long as I breathed.
I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he pressed a finger to my lips.
“Elise,” he said again, now tracing my lips with his fingertip. “You are my recompense, my restitution for all this life has taken from me.”
Whatever protest I’d been about to utter died on my tongue.
“Every moment of my life to come — the good and the bad — could only be made sweeter by sharing it with you.” His eyes lit with what I guessed was an imagined future, and by the look of it, a happy one. “In my whole life, you’re the one thing I’ve wanted just for me, and if there’s anything I’ll resent, it’ll be you trying to push me away.”
His smile had turned teasing as he spoke, but I heard the note of truth. How could I not? He would resent me if I denied us a chance. Did I really want that?
“So, what do you think? Do I deserve to be happy? Have I earned the right to ask for you?”
His questions cornered me. Of course, he deserved every happiness. If I believed nothing else, I held this as sacred. In the face of that belief, the doubts about the future, my worries over whatImight suffer suddenly felt as flimsy as tissue.
I swallowed. “You deserve anything you want.”
He arched an eyebrow just slightly, his sense of triumph tempered by good manners. “You. I want to be with you.” He tilted his beautiful face and gave me an openly assessing gaze. “What do you want?”
“You, of course,” I admitted, and it felt damn good. “I’ve always wanted you.”
I saw the smile break over him just before he moved, and then his mouth was on mine. And the taste of him, the unparalleled realness of him was so powerful, so sweet, all I could do was grab tight and hold on.
I took his kiss and gave mine back, joy for joy. His lips, tongue, and teeth were almost fierce in their demand for me, just as mine fought for more of him. As much as I could claim.
