I squeeze her fingers, her knee. “What the hell did he say?” Yeah, I could still pick up that hammer.
Millie inhales through her nose and empties her lungs with resignation. “That this—us—me and the kids—this instant family was too much to ask.” She shrugs. “And he was right.”
“What?!”
Millie puts her free hand to her heart. “I know it is. I mean, I’m twenty-four, and I would have never signed up for this if we weren’t talking about Harry, Mattie, and Emmett. I don’t blame him.”
“Millie, that—”
“No, just listen.” She moves her hand from her heart to mine. “If we hadn’t lost the baby…” Millie bites her bottom lip and frowns. “I think Carter would have stayed.”
She lets the words hang there, and maybe it makes me a dick, maybe it makes me the most awful person in the world, but I’m so glad that fucker bolted. I’m sorry Millie lost her baby, but if things would have gone differently, he’d be here, and I’d be building a kitchen for an incredible woman I’d never have the chance to touch.
But I know, on my knees at her feet, I would have felt it. I’d have still gotten to watch her. Still gotten to know her. She’d be nine months pregnant, married to that asswipe, or home on maternity leave in my face every day, being her funny, fretful, fantastic self. And I would have felt the pull I felt that first night at the soccer game. Marveled over how strong she was. I’d have seen her patience and her passion, and I would have loved her anyway. Knowing I could never have her.
“So, you see, I have to break up with you,” Millie says, jerking me from my fucked up day dream into an even more fucked up reality.
“¿Qué carajo?Millie, this makes no sense. I’m not—”
She grips the front of my shirt in her hand. “I’m all but positive I’m pregnant.”
The air. The room. The whole world goes still. I’ve been ready for this. But even if you think you’re ready to hear those words, they still hit like a shock wave.
I cover her hand at my heart. “Millie—”
“But it’s fine,” she says, her voice high-pitched and falsely bright. Her smile is false too. “I’m about as set for life as someone who’s not a Kardashian could be. I can do whatever it takes. I can handle this by myself.”
I shake my head. “No.”
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to prove to me you’re a good man. I already know,” she says, giving me a level look. “I’m not going to trap you and have you resenting me for the rest of our lives—”
“I wouldn’t—”
“Because that’s definitely what would have happened with Carter, and I won’t have it happen—”
“¡Maldición!”The curse ricochets off the shower walls. “Millie, for God’s sake, I’m. Not. Carter. And don’t you ever lump me with thatcabrón.He’s too stupid to know what he lost.”
She blinks, her lips parting. It’s distracting. I’m so angry, I don’t know whether to kiss her hard or throw something.
“You’re right,” she says, sounding startled. Millie shakes her head. “You’renothinglike Carter. You are ten times the man he is. A hundred times. You are everything,everythingI could want—”
Millie clamps her mouth shut, her eyes shining with unshed tears. In them I see all of her love. For me. Not anyone else. But right beside it is a sadness that scares the hell out of me.
“But—but Carter was right too.” She looks so resigned. So defeated. “It is too much to ask.”
Anger is the only protection I have.
“Are you asking? Are you even giving me a choice? Or are you just leaving me?” I don’t think I’ve ever yelled in a bathroom before. It’s fucking loud.
“I didn’t want…” She leans down and reaches into her purse. “I was going to wait until tomorrow. Until I knew for sure.” She pulls out a long, pink box. First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test.“Can tell 6 days sooner,”the label announces.
I stare at her, knowing with sudden clarity—and so much gratitude—that I am going to spend the rest of my life with a woman who has the power to drive me crazy.
“Marry me.”
That mouth of hers falls open. Yep, damned distracting.“What?!”
I lick my lips. I’ve never done this before, but I knowWhat?!Is not the answer I’m looking for. Correction. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with a woman who has the power to drive me crazy—if I can convince her to marry me. Now. Before she can take that stupid test.
