Shaking, he coughed and spat, fighting for breath. “I’m sorry,” he called. “I’m sorry, Wren.”
Listening for any response from her, Lee washed his face and hands. He grabbed his toothbrush and did violence to his teeth, tongue, and gums as he faced himself in the mirror. His skin was almost green, but the eyes that looked back now held a darkness he didn’t recognize.
Lee returned to Wren’s room and stopped in his tracks. She’d switched on the bedside lamp, and she lay on her side, looking as wounded and small as she had the first time he’d laid eyes on her.
“Just go,” she squeaked, her words drowned in tears.
Lee crossed the room, mounted the bed, and caged her with his arms. His limbs were still shaking. His body was coiled tight, but the sight of her made him forget all that. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, willing her to look him in the eyes.
She hid her face from him, turning into her pillow, but her words were clear enough. “I told you what happened to me, and it made you puke. I disgust you. Go home.”
Lee cursed his weakness. “No, no. I couldn’t stomach the thought of you being hurt.” He traced a finger over her bare shoulder, touching the blossoms he worshipped.
“You don’t disgust me. Wren, you amaze me.” At his own words, Lee’s shakes settled. “You arrest me. You ignite me.” He leaned down and brushed her cheek with his lips. “You accept me.” He kissed her temple. “You own me.”
At last, she turned her face up from the pillow and watched him with one wide eye. “What?”
He stole the chance to kiss her lips. “You heard me." Lee swept his thumb over her cheek to wipe away a tear. “You’ve got my heart in your hands. Please don’t let go.”
Her lips trembled, and she trapped them between her teeth. She swallowed her sob and rolled back to look up at him. “There’s more.”
The pain in her eyes felt like a brand against his chest. He sensed the darkness inside him again, the shadow he hadn’t known was there. For the first time in his life, Lee understood he was capable of murder. He’d taken an oath to preserve life, but there was a man out there who deserved to die at his hands. Finding him and choking him to death would be supremely satisfying.
But killing that bastard wouldn’t erase Wren’s fears. Only airing her secrets could do that. So, Lee gathered her in his arms, rolling them both until she rested against him.
“Tell me the rest.”
Wren buried her face into his chest, but the words that followed were all too clear. “He took pictures.”
“Motherfucker,” Lee swore through gritted teeth, squeezing her tighter. He was wrong. Killing this man wouldn’t just be satisfying; it was necessary.
“That’s how they caught him, finally,” she said, her voice so soft, his own jagged breath threatened to drown it out. “He was trading them online.”
Lee was grateful his stomach held nothing else. Nothing but a boiling wrath. Before he could respond to this, Wren continued.
“After it started, I used to sneak out at night and hide in the neighbor’s treehouse whenever I could,” she said, sniffling. “I’d wake up in the morning to the sound of the birds in the branches. I’d wish I could be one of them so I could fly away.”
Lee ran a hand down her arm, seeing her hummingbirds with fresh eyes. Was something he loved so much about her really a mark of her pain? “So… all of your birds…?” Agony like a knife blade kept his question in his throat.
Her eyes met his, and they saw his anguish. She reached up a hand and pressed it to his cheek. “They are a number of things. A promise of escape. A reminder of beauty. A shield. A story. They’re whatever I need them to be. And I do need them.”
He gave himself a moment to absorb the truth in her voice before he asked his next question. “How long did he hurt you?” No answer was short enough, but Lee prayed that her nightmare hadn’t stretched on.
“About four months.”
Lee shut his eyes and clenched his jaw. Who was he kidding? Four months was forever to a little kid. Her pain was endless. It stretched on even now.
“What happened when he was caught?” Lee asked through gritted teeth.
Wren pulled back in his arms and looked up at him with an expression he recognized, jaded and world-weary. One, he now realized, she’d probably worn since childhood.
“Laurie fell apart. Worse than before. She knew it was her fault I got hurt,” Wren said, the hollow look in her eyes almost daring him to disappoint her. “Instead of using that guilt to get clean, she gave up. She OD’ed two weeks after I turned seven.”
Lee saw then what he was up against. The person in Wren’s life who was supposed to love her most had failed her. He’d known this already in a vague way, but he’d never dreamed the extent to which she’d been betrayed. Her mother had let her get hurt, but worse than that, the woman had given up on them both. No wonder Wren didn’t trust him. No wonder she didn’t believe in love.
Could that ever change?
Knowing what he wanted, Lee pressed his lips to her forehead and kissed her three times. Whatever it took, he wanted to be the one. He’d have to be patient. They had ground to make up. The first time he had kissed her, he’d belonged to someone else, and she’d made it clear that she didn’t trust him.
